Thursday, August 05, 2010

What is Family?


[fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] Show IPA noun, plural -lies, adjective
–noun 1.
a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not: the traditional family.
Is that really it?  Is that really all there is to it?  I think there's more to it.  I have thought about this often with all the problems I have with my family.  And I've pondered the fact that my "family" doesn't act much like a family at all.  But, according to this definition there is no emotional bond involved.  Just parents and children.  So, what about the bond?  I would dare to challenge this and say that family is about love.
If you've read my blog at all, you are fairly well versed in my problems with my mom and my attempts to fix it.  I am living proof that you can't always get back the relationship once it has been compromised.  And you want to know the number one family bond killer?  Misunderstandings.  Not just misunderstandings, but what we do with those misunderstandings.  I want to challenge all of us to think in a different way in regards to our family.  I need this too.  I'm incorporating this into my prayers.  
Lord, help me to always assume the best about those I love.  It's so easy to get caught up in our assumptions about each other, and before we know it a small misunderstanding turns into hurt feelings.  Those hurt feelings and the pain from them causes us to lash out, which then causes hurt feelings on the other side.  Next thing you know there is damage to your relationship.  Sometimes it's no big deal, and you get over it and move on.  Sometimes it just festers.  Especially if you haven't talked it through.  When really, the bulk of what we fight about in families is misunderstandings in the first place.
I've been in a 10 year long argument over misunderstandings with my mother, that came to a huge head two years ago and we haven't spoken to each other since.  And what started the whole thing?  Misunderstanding  What made it turn into what it is today?  Not believing the best about one another.  I am just as guilty of this as she is.  I've allowed myself to fall into this trap and pay the price every single day that I don't get to hear my mom tell me she loves me, or tell her I love her.
If you are clouded by misunderstanding, humble yourself before the throne of God and ask Him to help you to believe the best about the person, and ask for forgiveness.  Believe me.  It's not worth it to let it be.

From Family Photos SLC Trip 2006

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