Tuesday, February 09, 2016

When Life Takes a Pause

Today I have a very deep thing to write about.  I've used this blog for years to document my feelings and thoughts through the good times and the bad.  What I write about today is a mixture of both.  If you read my blog you may have noticed my absence...

That's because on the 3rd of January my life was forever changed.

My cousin, Monica died that day.  She was a beautiful soul, and wonderful spirit, dedicated friend and cousin to me. 

I was forever changed by her passing, as were all who know her, but also blessed beyond comprehension to have agreed several years ago to be a Godparent for her two children, and take them in as my own should anything ever happen to her.  Of course, I never imagined having to live out that promise, but here I am.

And, it's hard.
And wonderful.
And overwhelming.
And peaceful.
And exhausting.
And vitalizing.

Here I am with now 6 kids whom I am charged with to bring up.  The weight of this is heavy.  But I am so honored.

In this storm I have been so overwhelmed by the presence of Christ.  I have spent a lot of time with God this past month or so, and one thing I know is He is there in your pain.  I have been literally overwhelmed by pain.  I've never experienced anything like this before.  I suspect it's normal when dealing with an event like this, but having never experienced it before, it's been hard.  But, every time I've felt God's presence and been able to rest in Him and go to Him for comfort and peace as I try to figure this all out.

So, as we enter into the Lenten season I'll be doing my usual, which is taking stock of my life.  I'll be pressing into God and looking to Him for the answers I need.  And it couldn't come at a better time.

What are you facing today that has brought you to your knees?  Do you believe that God is in the middle of your mess?  Trust Him.  He will not let you down.

Love, Semalee