Simple Gospel

Simple Gospel by United Pursuit

I want to know you, Lord
Like I know a friend
I want to know you, Lord

It's Monday and time to start our week of right with focusing our minds where they are best suited to be focused.  Did you have a busy weekend?  I are you still feeling tired, or not enough?

I want to know you, Lord
Like I know a friend
I want to know you, Lord

I've talked a lot lately about where we get our identity from, and how the world affects what we believe in our core.  It happens so easily, so quickly.  We can take our eyes off of heaven for just a moment and we forget who we are and whose we are.  But I'm here to tell you that no matter what that inner tape says, God wants you to come to Him.  He wants you to pursue Him.

So I’m laying down all my religion
I’m laying down
I want to know you, Lord

I'm not talking about sitting in church on Sundays.  Although I do think that's important, I do not believe it really defines your relationship with our Savior.  I also do not believe that it matters which pew you sit in, or which steeple you worship under on Sunday mornings.  If God desired us to worship all the same, he would have created the desire for the same type of worship in each of us.  But He created us creatively, and we enjoy different styles of worship.  The different denominations and worship styles give us that variety.

I use to think that I could box you in
But I’m laying down
I want to know you, Lord

One of my favorite phrases is "Don't put God in a box".  We cry out to God in prayer for things and then, when He doesn't respond in the way we hoped we think He didn't respond.  There's no trust in that.  When we pray, we ought to pray God's Will above all else.  It's so hard to let go of control, because as humans, we see things the way we see them, and as God, He sees them how He sees them.  Sometimes, we don't see the answers He does.  We also underestimate His power.  Or, His concern.  Do you know that God can do anything?  Do you know that He cares for the intimate details of your life?  Do you know that He cares for you even when, and perhaps especially when you don't measure up?

Lord, I’ve been told to be ashamed
Lord, I’ve been told I don’t measure up
Lord, I’ve been told I’m not good enough
But you’re here with me

How often do we do this?  We say you must belong to this church, or act this way, or serve this much for God to work in our lives.  This is not what God desires for us.  What God desires is relationship with Him..... and not just our relationship with Him..... How we see our relationship with Him affects how others see Him.  We are called to bring people to our Loving Christ.  When we expect so much to be able to even enter the presence of God, how does that draw others to our savior?

I reach out and you find me in the dust
You say no amount of untruths can separate us

I have a lot of struggles myself with where the lines are, but one thing I know, is that I am far from perfect.  I reach out to God and He meets me where I am.  I do not have to get my act together to reach out to Him.  I don't even have to stop my sinful behavior.  I simply need to reach for Him.  And through that reaching, He will change me from the inside out.

I will rejoice in the simple gospel
I will rejoice in you, Lord

It really is simple. We just have to let it be.

Love, Semalee

Music Monday- You Know Me

Recently I went to a funeral at our church for one of our church family.  The lady who had died was an amazing soul, and such an inspiration to me.  She was always kind, and always had her eyes on the Lord.  I always felt welcome in her presence and, now that she's gone, I wish I had spent more time there.  But, no matter how much time we think we have, the reality is that we don't know the number of our days, and some day they will end.

In the funeral we sang a song called Wayfaring Stranger by Johnny Cash:

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger

Traveling through this world below

There is no sickness, no toil, nor danger

In that bright land to which I go

I'm going there to see my Father

And all my loved ones who've gone on

I'm just going over Jordan

I'm just going over home

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me

I know my way is hard and steep

But beauteous fields arise before me

Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep

I'm going there to see my Mother

She said she'd meet me when I come

So, I'm just going over Jordan

I'm just going over home

I'm just going over Jordan

I'm just going over home

In the line "I'm going to see my Mother" I found myself almost removed from the service and speaking to God, crying out to God for my own mother.  If you've read my blog, you know that my mother and I don't have a relationship.  I could go into many reasons why it is so, and most of them would make it sound like it's all her fault.  And, I'd venture to guess if you were to ask her why we don't have a relationship her reasons would be many and most would lay the blame on me.  And, they'd both be true.  Life has not been kind to our relationship.  But, as I talked with God, He reminded me that even if we don't reconcile here on earth, that we will reconcile in Heaven, because that is when our souls will be able to speak to each other, and we'll truly understand each other.  Here on earth we have a very hard time truly hearing each other's heart and soul.

It's been an incredibly painful thing, and we've missed out on so much together.  But it's also reminded me often of how much I need God.  With God, we don't have to wait for the other side of Heaven for our soul to be understood.  He understand us now.  There is no misunderstanding coming from him.  He KNOWS us.  What a comfort that is.  Do you ever feel misunderstood by others?  Do you truly know that there is someone who understands you, even when no one else does?  It doesn't matter if we understand Him.  And it doesn't matter what we've done.  He sees our heart, our pain, our soul.

You Know Me- Bethel Music

You have been

And You will be

You have seen

And You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall

When I come or go, You see it all

You hung the stars and You move the sea

And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You have been

And You will be

And You have seen

And You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall

When I come or go, You see it all

You hung the stars and You move the sea

And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

And nothing is hidden from Your sight

Wherever I go, You find me

And You know every detail of my life

And You are God and You don't miss a thing

And nothing is hidden from Your sight

Wherever I go, You find me

And You know every detail of my life

Cause You are God and You don't miss a thing

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You memorize me

Nothing is hidden from His sight.  He knows every detail of our lives.  We can rest in that.

Love, Semalee

P.S.  Here's Wayfaring Stranger too :)

P.P.S. Here's another version by Ed Sheeran if you're interested :)

Thursday Thoughts: The Comparison Trap

Recently I've taken a break from social media.  It's now been more than a month that I've been off social media and I've learned a few things.

It's all too easy to get caught up in the world of social media and forget that what goes on there is pretty far from reality.  I know that it is a way to keep in touch with people, but how often do we use it as a crutch to believe that we are staying in touch, when really we aren't.  We're just looking in on someone's life, but still keeping a distance.  There's not a place on our Facebook wall where we can sit together and talk about the things that really are bothering us.

What really got me convicted to take a break was the change I was seeing in myself.  I have always been a person who truly enjoys seeing my friends have a good time, even when it didn't include me. It really has been a thing that doesn't bother me.  But lately, I find myself in a sort of "in between" stage.  I think it has some to do with the fact that I have adult children and teen age children and young children.  Because of this dynamic, I often don't feel like I truly "fit" with any group. My friends who have children my adult children's ages are now entering the empty nest time in their lives and don't have the worries of the 7 and 8 year old life that we do.  My friends who have young kids my Littles' ages are much younger than we are and have a totally different take on many things as a result.  I have some friends who have teenage kids, but the teenage years are so difficult with time being so scarce that there's not a lot of room to connect there either.

And, I'm also finding that being a mom of adult kids who are going out into the world and living their own lives is much harder than I anticipated.  So much of my life has been all about them, and now their lives are (rightfully so) not about me.  I miss my boys.

These things have worked together to knock down my self esteem a bit.  As this has happened, I've begun looking at Facebook differently.  I've noticed more where I don't seem to stack up to others.  My friends get together and instead of me being happy about it for them, I'm feeling sorry for myself, and wondering why I wasn't invited.  I've lost my sense of true identity, because I allowed Facebook/Instagram/SnapChat etc to define it for me instead of the One who truly loves me and knows me.

I was reading a devotional in the Bible app recently called "People of the Second Chance".  There was a quote in there that really hit me to the core, and I think it is well worth repeating.  It was, "My truest, nonnegotiable identity is the beloved.  And in spite of my checkered past, my fabulous flops, my painful history, my deepest flaws, my boneheaded screw-ups, and yes, even beyond my own beliefs about myself, I am God's beloved.  This is my foundational identity of every human being.

"This is important because identity is the engine that dries the relationship not only with ourselves, but also with God and others.  If your identity is broken, your life is broken.  If you define it incorrectly, you will carry that wrong definition into your story.  if all you see are your limitations, you will miss out on the stunning possibilities God is creating in front of you."  I assume more can be found in his book, People of the Second Chance: A Guide to Bringing Life-Saving Love to the World

This really spoke to me, though.  You see, one thing I will never claim to be is perfect.  One thing I do not have is "it all together".  I'm just like any other wife and mom out there who spends time bouncing between overwhelmed and barely getting by most of the time.  I have deep regrets as a mom, things I wish I could do over, ways I wish I could better show my kids how much I love them.  I have deep regrets as a wife, ways that I have not been a good partner to my husband, times when I didn't give him the grace he deserved.  I have deep regrets as a child, things I've said, and ways I've acted out towards my parents, and most particularly my mother.  I have failed in many ways at being a good friend, too.  I've said things that hurt my friends, that were not intended to do so, but still did.  You can't unsay things once they've been said.  All of these people are people who I love so dearly, yet I have made mistakes.  And now, as a mother in law, I find myself failing in many ways there too. I am human.  I am far from perfect.  And the people who I love are also human.  We fail.  All of us.  It's just one of the reasons we need God so much.  Because, we need to know in our deepest darkest failings that our core identity has not changed.  We are Beloved.

So, for now, I will keep my eyes less on the things on social media and more on the things in my Bible.  I will spend the month of November as I have for many years, remembering what I'm grateful for, and not what I lack.  I will do my best to forgive others when they are human and I will also try to forgive myself.  I will try to see the world with the eyes of Jesus, and see the wonder of it all.

What about you?  Do you find yourself getting caught up in the comparison trap of social media?  Do you need to take time to refocus as well?  What are ways you keep yourself in check?

Love, Semalee

Music Monday: Captain

You all know how much I am ministered to by music.  It has a way of getting into, and speaking to my soul.  I was thinking the other day that it's a good way to start off the week, too.  So, here's is my first installment of Music Monday to kick our week off with our minds and hearts in the right place.



Has there been a time (or two or ten) in your life where you really didn't know which direction your life was headed, and from what you could see, it looked pretty scary?  Maybe you're in that place right now.  Maybe you have a child that you're worried about their future.  Maybe your marriage is struggling.  Maybe you've lost someone in your life who was so important to you that you feel lost without them.  Through waters uncharted my soul will embark, I'll follow your voice straight into the dark.  I've been there many times, and many times even recently, where even the daily moments can seem like a dark place.  It is during these times that you really see God work.  When you truly know that you can not fix the problem before you, BUT GOD, that is when you see.  You truly see.

Where are we going? Who is the Captain of our ship?  Are we allowing our earthly desires, or even pleasing others, or looking like "A Good Christian" on the outside to dictate our daily walk?  Do your social media accounts show the right picture of your life?  Are you careful not to let others see when you struggle?  When we don't allow others to see into our struggles, they do not feel comfortable approaching us when they need someone to listen to their heart.  If we always seem to have it together, how are we to minister to those around us?  And worse, if everyone around you seems to always have everything together, how do you feel when you don't feel like YOU have it together? This is the danger of social media.  This is the danger of superficial relationships. The problem is, how do you approach someone to pray for you?  Or, are you making yourself available to pray for others? 

It's ok, and normal to have days, sometimes weeks or months or longer where your life is filled with trials.  It's ok to have seasons where you don't measure up to the world's standards.  God uses these moments in our life to teach us how big He is, and, when we let Him, He uses them to teach others how big He is too.

Captain- Hillsong United

Through waters uncharted my soul will embark
I'll follow your voice straight into the dark
And if from the course you intend I depart
Speak to the sails of my wandering heart.

Like the wind 
You'll guide
Clear the skies before me
And I'll glide this open sea.

Like the stars
Your Word
Will align my voyage
And remind me where I've been
And where I'm going.

Lost in the shallows amidst fear and fog
Your truth is the compass that points me back North
Jesus
My Captain
My Soul's trusted Lord
My allegiance is rightfully yours.

This week we will enter November.  Time has a habit of really flying by lately, so it's time to start looking towards 2018 and beginning to think of what we would like 2018 to look like.  Who will be our Captain in 2018? Will we look for ways that God is quietly blowing our sails, or will we row in the direction of the current?

Jesus
My Captain
My Soul's trusted Lord
My allegiance is rightfully yours.

Love, Semalee

Time is a Funny Thing

The 13th of this month marked what would have been my cousin's 49th birthday.

We are still in Post Hurricane Harvey mode, which is a strange place to be anyway.  My house was fine, and I'm continually surprised by how I've been affected by this storm.  In some ways it was like a metaphor for how I have felt about my life recently.  The storm just kept going.  When we thought it should stop raining it kept raining.  When we were unsure if the water would take us over, it kept raining.  We were prepared for a storm.  We were even prepared for a big storm.  But, like life, we were not prepared for what came.  We found ourselves day after day simply trying to make it through the day, unsure if tomorrow would be a day that took us under, or a day we conquered.  This feeling has lingered, even though the storm has passed.  And, while we were ok, many of our very dear friends were not.  There are several friends who lost everything, and we are just doing what we can to help, all the while feeling inadequate in our ability to help them.

Grief is the same way.  I'll be going along life and thinking I'm beginning to be ok, and then suddenly the water in my eyes begins to rise again and before I know it tears are streaming once again.  It's still raining.  It's not as relentless as it was in the beginning.  I see pockets of sunshine now, and even dry periods, but the storm of grief has not left me yet.

Many days I want to just move out of this storm.  The longer it holds on, the weaker I feel.  I see it creeping into many areas of my life, where it isn't welcome.  Where I used to stand tall and confident, that light is gone.  I feel inadequate in almost every area of my life.  I am scared a lot, and I used to be rather fearless.  Sometimes the fear is justified, but many times it is not.  It simply does not allow me to enjoy the moment for fear of what could happen.  I know I should not rush myself through this, but it is rushing when it feels like so much time has already passed? But, I can't rush myself or even move myself slowly.  I am not in control of this storm.

There are things that never leave me.  Watching my children meticulously clean off their mother's grave marker is one.  This is not something any child should have to do.  As I watched them carefully clean, I found myself grieving for what Bug didn't get to do.  I'm so grateful for the gift of being able to be these kids' mom, but I will never replace her.  (I don't want to).  There is still a hole in their heart, one that I will never fully fill.  Even though they tell me all the time how much they love me, I know I will never really fill that void for them.  It's not my fault that I'm inadequate here, I'm actually not supposed to be able to fill that space completely, because I would never want to erase her from their life, but it still hurts to not be able to do that for them.  I know that there will always be that scar in their life, and mine.  We want better for our children.  We don't want them to emerge from childhood already scarred by life.

But, regardless of what we do, the truth is not one of us goes through this life without scars.

Even Jesus didn't go through life without scars.  Many things we will not understand this side of heaven, but what I do know in my heart is that when we use our own scars to help others, it helps to give those scars a positive purpose.  I often wish things were different, but as I do, I realize that I would be missing out on the things about life as it is that bring me joy.  My daughter is a funny, compassionate soul, who comes behind me and supports me when I need it, and I see in our future an amazing friendship between mother and daughter that I never got to experience with my own mother, and she never got to experience with hers.  We can give that to each other.  My son has changed so much, from a scared, awkward kid, to a young man who is finding his way and his purpose.  Life has not been kind to him in many ways, and he has those scars, which will help him to see the heart of others who often feel misunderstood and lonely.  I spend a lot of time being scared that my children will experience yet another loss, because they have already experienced far more than is fair, but I think God is trying to show me that each piece of our life is part of who we are and whose we are.

When we rely on our human ability to control our environment we will always feel inadequate.

It has been a long, painful lesson in letting go.  It's not over yet.

I'm grateful that the God who created the Universe knows me personally, knows my heart, and never leaves me no matter how much I fail.  When my mouth fails me, He knows my heart.  When my arms fail me, He knows my strength.  When my feet fail me, He knows my way.

"You Know Me" Bethel Music

You have been and You will be
You have seen and You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go You see it all
You hung the stars and you move the sea
And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh You know me [repeat]

Nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You find me
You know every detail of my life
You are God and You don't miss a thing

You memorize me

Jesus I Need You

The People of God Will Care for Orphans. James 1:27 says, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”

People often look at my family, a family who has adopted 4 children in addition to having our own 2 biological children with wonder.  Sometimes we even scare people.  Sometimes we intimidate people.  The sheer size of us can be overwhelming.  (Even to us).....  They think and say lots of things like, "You guys are saints to take in those kids", or "I could never do what you do every day", or "I don't know how you manage with all of those kids", or "I watch you and am amazed that you do it all on a Police Man's salary"......

I'll start with the salary- it isn't a lot, but when God is in control of our bread basket, suddenly 5 loaves feed 5,000.  I really don't know how the math works, but I know that God gave us these children and He will provide for them.  He does not provide for us to go on luxury vacations, or live extravagantly.  I cook most of the time because eating out is very expensive for us.  We save all year for Christmas, and when we go on big vacations we save for several years in anticipation.  We spend more money on time together and experiences than we do stuff.  We do not have one piece of new furniture in our house.  But stuff isn't what is important to us.  And our house is small.  1400 sq feet small.  But it forces us to be together, and I am glad it's small.  (most of the time)..

As for the rest of it, it isn't a pretty picture with a beautiful bow.  It's a very painful one.  The reason my faith is so strong, and that I love God the way I do is because the humans in my life have failed me.  Why do I have such a heart for the orphans?  Because I know what it's like to not have a mother's love.  My children each have stories very different than mine, but I still can relate to their longing.  As their mother now, I can promise them with absolute certainty that I will never leave them.  As long as I can be their mother, no matter how hard they are I will not abandon them.  Having my own difficult children has given me insight into what my parents had to endure when I was a child.  I understand a little more now of what it was like to parent me.  I do not understand how my mother doesn't want me anymore, but I do understand how hard I was to parent.

So, my desire to take care of these kids does not come from some super wonderful part of me.  It comes from deep pain.  It comes from a desire that my children will never feel like I do.

My love for them is sustained by my love for God.  He is my true Rock.  He sustains me and comforts me when I feel alone, or when I feel unloved or unwanted.  He always wants me.  And through His always wanting me I am taught what true love is.



"Jesus I Need You"

Hope be my anthem
Lord when the world has fallen quiet
You stand beside me
Give me a song in the night

Jesus I need You
Every moment I need You
Hear now this grace bought heart sing out
Your praise forever

Beauty for ashes
You find the weak and contrite heart
Shoulder its burdens
And carry it into the light

Remember love
Remember mercy
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Your loving kindness
Has never failed me
Christ before me
Christ behind me

The Wind and the Waves

Isn't it interesting how God shows up in the little details of life?  By reading my blog, you probably have ascertained that I'm going through some things in life that are difficult.  What I don't really talk about is my Weight Watchers Journey.  I don't talk about it with anyone, really, because its very difficult and there are a whole lot of emotions tied to my weight.  When I look in the mirror I see more than excess weight.  I see pain.  I see grief.  I see fear.  I see loss.  I see rejection. I see a whole lot of things in each particle of excess fat.  I did not get here easily.  It has been very costly.  One thing that is truly amazing about the current WW program is the meetings.  It's one thing to watch what you eat, but in the meetings they really dive into WHY we eat.  What is going on in our mind that we allow ourselves to do this?  Better still, how can we start using tools for living to make positive changes in our whole self?

The past several weeks have been especially difficult on me.  I'm finding that parenting adult children and being a mother-in-law is the hardest stage of parenting yet.  When our kids are young they need us so much.  And we need them.  We are integral parts of each others' lives.  And for a stay at home mom, often her kids are just about everything to them.  Life for the mom centers on loving our children and raising them to know they are loved, and capable.  Then they grow up.  They don't need us as much as they used to.....  But we still need them....And to mom, it was just yesterday that they came home from the hospital.  I mean I can still see in my mind's eye the first time we walked into our house with a baby carriage.  I knew this small person was going to change my entire world.  He already had.  Then as the days passed a piece of my heart started walking around.  But, every single thing he did brought me joy.  To see him struggle hurt me.  To see him grow grew me.  Letting him go to Sri Lanka 3 times took an emotional toll.  Watching him marry the love of his life- seeing him so happy- made the past 20 years flash before my eyes.

People don't talk about how hard this stage is.  We hear all about how difficult the toddler years are, and then we hear about how difficult the teen years are.  But no one really talks about young adult years.  This transition period where they branch out and start to figure out their own life.  And mom, who has been there for everything is suddenly not anymore.

They're supposed to do this.  They're supposed to move out.  They're supposed to go to college.  They're supposed to start making decisions, (even ones we disagree with).  They're supposed to separate from us.

As a parent, I understand and accept this part of life.  I want them to grow up and move out and be successful and happy in their lives.

But, I find myself wondering where I still fit in their lives.  Do I matter?  It's not that I want them tied down to me, or even want to tell them what to do.  I just want to still be able to watch them from the sidelines.  I want to still be part of their life.

Am I alone in this?

Part of my fear comes from my own broken relationship with my mom.  I know that relationships between parent and child can go south and even end.  I've experienced it.  I know how easy it is to get there.  I know the pain of this relationship in particular being broken.  So I hold on.  Maybe a little tighter than I should.  But I'm fearful.

And so, this week I let my fear take over again.

This past week has been especially difficult for me.  I am really struggling emotionally with lots of things.

So in my WW meeting after a particularly sleepless night they talked about the very thing I need to hear.  Letting go.  They talked about how when we have emotionally charged times we can think of it like the ocean.  The emotions are the waves.  If you're in the ocean, and the wave starts to build, at times it will pull you and sometimes even knock you down as it draws up and crashes over you, but then the water washes over you and you can stand strong again.  It's important to know as we are in the part of the wave that knocks us down that it will wash over and we'll be able to stand back up again.  I sat last night watching the waves at the beach thinking on this a lot as I tried to keep my emotions in check.

Then this morning I woke up and read my devotional in my Bible App....  Today's entry: The Wind and the Waves.

This is how God comforts us.  These are the things that He does every single day.  Things that, if we're not looking, we miss.  If I had missed my quiet time with Him this morning I would have missed this message from Him.  The message that He's there.  He's walking with me through this valley of pain.  When it feels like no one understands me, and I feel so very very alone, He is there.  He is there.  HE hasn't left me.  HE knows my feelings, and is still there. HE knows my emotions and doesn't shy away.  HE values me.  I don't have to fit in a box for Him.  I don't have to say the right things for Him.  I don't have to keep the appropriate amount of distance for Him.  I don't have to smile and act like everything is fine when it isn't for Him.  I can simply rest in Him.  I can just climb into His lap and cry.  And He is not burdened by it.  He will be there as the wave crashes over me.  Even if the wave takes people or things out to sea, He will remain with me.

Like An Avalance

There's a thing that happens when you have deep wounds.  Sometimes those wounds have turned to scars, sometimes, they're still in the healing process.  Sometimes the scars are easily reopened.  The truth is, I've been walking this grief journey a while.  Since childhood, really.  As a child of adoption myself I know the deep feelings of unworthiness that can lurk waiting to have an opportunity to rear their ugly head.  It doesn't matter how loved one is in their home.  It's still there.  A feeling that somehow I'm not enough.  The truth is, my adoption story is nothing like my children's individual stories, but still filled with pain.  My "step-father" adopted me, and I saw my biological father from time to time.  I say "step-father" in quotes, because he was not a "step-father" at all to me.  He was Daddy.  He loved me in spite of my wildness.  I was a difficult child.  My Shea is so much like I was.  (At least how they describe me to be).  I was wild.  They would say that if I came near sugar I was over the edge.  I would roll my eyes and think they were really ridiculous ;) Now I see when Shea thinks about sugar she goes off the rails....  I see now.  Isn't that what life is?  We hear "hindsight is 20/20" all the time, yet somehow it doesn't sink in.  I see now that I was such a difficult child.  I see now that in spite of that, my Daddy loved me.  I see now that my biological father, my Dad loved me in the best way he could, by giving distance so that my Daddy could be all in.  I see now that everyone around me were just broken people doing the best they could.  And, now I find myself with children who all have their own deep needs, and deep hurts, some related to their adoption story, some unrelated, but all needing different things.  I see myself not measuring up on a regular basis.  I see myself doing the very best I can, but still failing them each daily.  I see myself loving them all, and I see them still feeling unloved, and unworthy.  Just as I did.

The only thing I can do is try to point them to the Father.  I can't fix these wounds in their hearts.  That's the hardest part of being an adoptive family.  And it's hard for my biological children too.  They live their lives sacrificing their own comforts to provide a safe space for other children to experience our crazy life too.  One of my boys told me the other day that he has really struggled lately because when my cousin died and we got the Middles he realized family can be temporary.  He never considered that possibility before and our family is everything to us.  This is what happens when we face great loss every single day.  We can't help but be reminded that it exists.  We can't just go on with our life virtually unchanged.  It is forever changed along with our children.  Their life was changed, but so was ours.  And we do it because God called us to do so.  It is not the easy road.  Not at all.  But it is the road God called us to. 

The reality is, though we rarely realize it, we are all adopted.  Those of us in Christ's family.  It is truly what we're made of. 

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children." -Romans 8:14-16 

When we are ourselves adopted into Christ's family, how can we not adopt those orphans around us who need who deserve to be wholly loved for who they are?  I know not everyone is called to adopt like we have been, but my point is, this is what God has called us to.  Maybe he has called you to support those who adopt?  Maybe he's called you to mentor children in your church.  Maybe he's called you to recognize weariness on the momma at church who needs a break and offer it to her...  ALL mommas get weary. 

But, even with this deep love and devotion for our children they are still broken.  That's why we all need Jesus so much.  The only peace I have found for my own brokenness has been Jesus. 

Like An Avalanche- Hillsong United


Beautiful God
Laying Your majesty aside
You reached out in love to show me life
Lifted from darkness into light
Oh
King for a slave
Trading Your righteousness for shame
Despite all my pride and foolish ways
Caught in Your infinite embrace
Oh
And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love love love
Burning in my heart
Saviour and Friend
Breathing Your life into my heart
Your word is the lamp unto my path
Forever I'm humbled by Your love
Oh
Take my life
Take all that I am
With all that I am I will love You
Take my heart
Take all that I have
Jesus how I adore You
And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compare to this love love love

Thy Will Be Done

I'm so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don't wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I've got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done I know you're good

But this don't feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It's hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you're God
And I am not

So Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will I know you see me

I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store

So, thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord


Some days I don't have any answers.  Lots of days.  It's why I need Jesus so much.  Because daily I'm faced with reminders that I don't have the answers and I don't know what tomorrow holds.  Reminders that I can't control the outcomes of what happens around me, but I can find peace in knowing that whatever happens I do not have to walk alone. 

I recently was reminded of my deep ingrained fear of the effects of drugs on your life.  I honestly do not believe anyone to be immune to this.  I think it is completely irresponsible, and also unfair to think that because someone appears to have it all together that they are immune from the draw of artificial remedies for life's problems.  In this case, the fear is centered around drugs and their effects on those that get caught in their draw, but the same could be applied to just about any aspect of life- the woman who believes her husband is perfect, but under the surface unknown to those around him he struggles with deep issues including porn, or infidelity- the homeschooling mom who looks like her kids are all perfect ducks in a row, but inside her is a deep feeling that she isn't ever enough- the adoptive mom who adopted because there was so much love to give, but now finds herself wondering if she's the right parent for her kids...... etc.  Artificial remedies can range from drugs, to alcohol, to being a control freak, to even something beneficial like exercise.  There are many ways to address the problems of life.  Sometimes we feel like we call out to the Lord and don't see an answer, or don't like the answer.  Sometimes we just need to learn to let things go more than we do.  What is of most importance to you?

For me, the number one thing is that my children and husband know I love them and that I love God, and God loves them.  I have a mantra I use with my youngest ones who have deep issues with abandonment, and it goes: "God loves me first, and my family loves me too".....  This is a good mantra for us all.  And we need to remember, that God's love for us is not tied to whether we have the perfect marriage, successful kids, clean house, etc.  God loves us because He KNOWS us.  He knows us better than anyone.  I listened to a podcast today where the man was talking about his struggles with infidelity - it was the people who run the Undone Redone podcast, who were sharing on the Homeschooling In Real Life Podcast.  One thing he said he had to tell himself as he walked back from his struggling and exile from his church was that "God knows it all, and he loves me, these people only know a little bit".  Wow.  How often do we look to others for acceptance, and for approval when the truth is God knows us all, and the people around us only know a little.

Where this all applies to me, is, if I'm really honest, I've gotten myself into a busy-ness trap through trying to please God and others through my works.  I know that God loves me no matter what, but I try to please Him by serving His people (and others) because I love Him so much and I want others to feel the love that I feel.  But the problem here is, that as I've become more and more overwhelmed with my schedule in recent years (and am now working on reducing it) that people aren't always feeling his love at all through me, because, quite frankly, I'm too overwhelmed.

So, back to the most important thing for me: Love- my God, my children, my husband, and leaving a legacy that speaks love.

This is what I need to focus on to figure out what stays on my list, and what goes.  If it doesn't further this purposefully, and intentionally, then it goes off the list.  I'll spend the next while using this measure to examine my priorities better.

In case you're curious about the podcasts, here is the one I listened to: Homeschooling In Real Life Episode 145  and the guests were the authors of the Un Done, RE Done Podcast. 

How are you giving yourself permission to evaluate your life?  Let's share in this discussion!

Love Always,
Semalee

When God Calls You...

This past Wednesday, July 27th, was a HUGE day for my family.  It was a day none of us expected to happen in our lives, but yet, it did.  You see, on July 27th we finalized our second adoption, for our Middles!  In my mind, the moment we picked them up was the moment we committed to forever with them, but there is still something about the state saying that we're family forever.  No one can come between us.  We are now legally required to love each other in the morning LOL ;)

Leading up to this day I was surprised at my emotions, because, like I said, I was committed to them from moment one.  However, I found myself relaxing a little.  Fears I didn't know existed were coming to the surface, and I was able to release them.  I also found that I had been holding on to my heart a little, afraid of the what-if, because all we had was the Will saying they were ours.  There was no real threat to our family, but still, in my mind, it wasn't over until it was over.  As I talked with the kids, I learned they had these fears too.  Maybe they knew they had these fears all along, maybe they didn't, but it's a strange thing that adoption does to your heart.  The truth is, they are no more or less my children today then they were a week ago.  If anything had tried to come between us I would have given my life to preserve our bond.  But, now we don't have to explain ourselves to the world, and that is a relief.

The moment the Judge Granted the Adoption

In some ways it was bitter-sweet for me.  It was sort of the closing of a chapter that included my cousin.  She's still with us in spirit, and very much in my heart and mind, but it was still another finalization in the fact that we lost her.  But, it was also sweet because I knew this was what she wanted.  And, it's my honor to give this last gift to my first best friend.  I just can't help but wish we were raising these kids together.  It's funny, a couple of months we talked about her and the kids coming for a visit this summer, and about her considering moving closer so we could do just that.  But, in the end, we get the pleasure of parenting these kids.

This adoption process was a lot different from our previous adoption from the CPS system.  Some things were the same, we still had to have a home study done, which was tedious and stressful, just as the first one was.  It was a little less involved as far as the property was concerned, no fire inspection, no child locks etc, but still stressful.  It's never fun to have someone come in and evaluate your home life.  And, in a family that jokes around a lot, I worried if someone would say something in jest that would be taken seriously!  LOL!  But, the good news is, now I can use this when the kids think I'm being "unreasonable" I can tell them the State of Texas has thoroughly investigated us and we're good LOL!!  It also cost a lost more, as in adopting from CPS is free and this was definitely a few thousand dollars more than free!

Some day I'll write a long detailed post about the things that are the same and the things that are different in the two adoptions. 

People ask me all the time how we're handling having so many kids, and the truth is, when God calls you to do something, He makes it possible.  It's not always easy, but it's not always hard, either.  And if I were to be able to choose the number of kids I had without consequence, this is exactly the number I would chose.  They keep our life full, and loud, and crazy.  They keep us on our toes, and challenge us every day to be better.  They remind us that there is purpose in life.  They remind us daily of how lucky we are to have each other, and have the love that we share.  No, I wouldn't change a thing about my life.  Each of my children are a unique gift, unmeasurable, and unmatchable.

With the Judge after the Adoption

Is God calling you to do something crazy?  Do it!  I will not promise it will be easy, but it will definitely be worth it!

Love,

Semalee

Lenten Reflections

Every year as Lent approaches I feel weary from the busy-ness of the holiday season and getting back into the grove afterward…  I find myself longing for some time for reflection, and drawing back to God.  It always seems to come just when I need a recharge….

And this year is no different.  The Fall/Winter season has left me overwhelmed and tired.  I came down with Shingles in November and it seemed to never end….  By the time I was coming out of the fog that the Shingles and the medicine for them put me in I was surrounded by loose ends and things left undone or done wrong.  As I type this I am still feeling behind in the things I usually try to stay on top of….  I’m surrounded by a mountain of laundry, and many other chores that have not gotten the attention they need…

But the household chores aren’t the only things that have not gotten the attention that they need.  My family hasn’t either.  It seems like I’ve talked for quite some time about needing to get some things off my plate, and having Shingles made that even more evident to me.  As I went through the Fall/Winter season it seemed like my whole world was falling apart.  My marriage has suffered.  My kids have suffered.  I have suffered.  Even my relationship with God has suffered.

Life has a way of passing us by.  We can be present in the moment and still miss it.  This is something that has baffled. me for a long time.  I’ve homeschooled my kids for 8 years and still feel like I have missed so much….  how???

Many days, especially recently, I’ve found myself going from day to day, just trying to make it from sun up to sun down. 

There have even been days in the last year when I have said to myself, “I hate my life”.

In reality, I don’t.  If I take a minute to step away from the pure exhaustion, I have a great life.  I have many, many things to be thankful for.  I guess this is a lot of the reason I haven’t really talked about my dark feelings.  I know there are so many others who have much less to be thankful for than I do.  But that doesn’t make the pain any less real.

Maybe you’ve felt this way.  Maybe you’ve felt this aloneness that I am talking about.

But God.

I say it all the time- it never ceases to amaze me the way our God cares for us in such a personal way in the middle of our trials.  Sometimes we’re so wrapped up we don’t see it, but He is always there.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had a couple of messages that I know came from God…  One in the form of an email from my Dad, asking me if my heart was ok…  Interesting, since it has been broken recently…..  And another from a host of mine from Pampered Chef who sent me a message on Facebook telling me she had dreamed I was depressed and she needed to talk to me about it.  Why do I know these were from God?

My dad lives in Colorado, and I haven’t been able to talk to him for a while because of the busyness, so he had no idea how I was feeling…

My host is just that- someone who I met through my business, who doesn’t know me on a personal level more than facebook and we are not in the same circle for her to know I have been struggling.  Perhaps her message touched me the most.  That she would follow through and message me, and take the risk of being vulnerable enough to share her dreams with  me.  Isn’t this the gift of Christian Sisterhood at work?

“I have told you this so that through me you may have peace. In the world you'll have trouble, but be courageous—I've overcome the world!"  John 16:33

So, yes, it’s been a very dark time for me.  Things have happened in my life that have shaken me to my core.  I’ve let go of some things and endured some hurts that no one should.  Things I have only shared with my inner core of friends.  My inner core of prayer warriors whom I knew would pray for me.  And through this I have felt the power of prayer.  I have had days when I feel like everything will be ok, and days when I haven’t.  I don’t yet know what “ok” is, but I know at this point that I will get there.  And that’s an improvement.

So, back  to Lent…  It’s fitting that I’ve been through an emotional and spiritual winter, and I am now about to head in to Spring.  As the weather warms up, and new beginnings are all around, I’m looking for my own new beginnings.  That, in fact, is exactly what Lent is about….  It’s a period of reflection, of preparing for new beginnings, of shedding off the old, clothing ourselves with the new, of cleansing our hearts, minds, and souls.  It is, essentially our Spring Cleaning as Christians.

Traditionally, something is given up for Lent.  I’ve got a couple.  One of my goals is to not yell at my kids/family/friends/insert innocent victim here…  Yes, I have had some issues with yelling.  I’m not quiet.  Never have been.  But lately, in my state of being overwhelmed, it has gotten worse, and I’m not proud of some of my behaviors.  So, I’m going to aim to keep my voice down when I get frustrated.  Second, on the evenings when I’m home, I’m going to take at least one hour where I’m not on any electronics at all.  If the kids are watching something, I will actually watch it with them.  Interact with them…  No sitting on the couch with them while they watch their thing and I do my thing on the computer/phone/ipad/insert other distraction here..  Essentially I am giving these things up, but what I’m really do is giving my presence to those I love the most….  I’ve been so busy trying to catch up with everything that I’ve forgotten the most important thing I need to catch up on--- my family.

Additionally, I try to add something during Lent that I feel will enhance my Spiritual connection to God.  For now, I’ll start with our Wednesday Soup and Study at our church, continue Bible Devotions with my husband every day, and I’m going to try to make a more conscience effort to BE STILL….

So there it is.  I have told you since the beginning this blog is about my life, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Today I’ve shared some of my ugly in the hopes that you won’t judge me, and that I am able to touch someone, somewhere and help them where they need it.

So, what are your thoughts on Lent?

Philemon 1:7

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

30 Days of Thankful

Isn’t it funny how we forget?  Isn’t it funny how we take things for granted?

This morning I went for a run.  It was bad from the get go.  I’ve been struggling with possible exercise induced asthma among other things.  But I’ve been pushing through.  I know if I let one thing stop me I’ll just stop completely.

So, this morning I headed out for a quick 3 mile run.  My heart was ready to knock it out and PR it this morning.  My body was not.

Right off the bat my body was not cooperating.  I don’t know if it’s still tired from Saturday’s run of a little over 10 miles, or what.  But from the start my legs were heavy and sore.  I kept going.  I reasoned it was just a quick 3 miles.

About 2 minutes in (yes 2 freaking minutes) I started wheezing.  UGH!  I reasoned I would just do 3/1 intervals, but still make it work….

About a mile in my left knee started to hurt a little.  I thought ok maybe I’ll just run home and not do intervals for the way home….  It will still be 1 1/2 ish…

Then my hip flexor started to hurt, so I continued the intervals….  I cut the run short and headed home with intervals.  I was a little frustrated, especially after my high on Saturday of such a great run, but tried to remind myself that a bad run makes the good runs that much sweeter….  But seriously, 1.75 miles in 25 minutes!!!  SHEESH!  When I was starting out running this was great, but I’M TRAINING FOR A 1/2 MARATHON IN LESS THAN A MONTH!!!! 

So, I hobbled home trying not to feel too sorry for myself…..

Sat at the computer with a nice cup of coffee and some oatmeal….

November is a month that often people say something they’re thankful for every day…  I’ve been doing it this month, so I was thinking of some things I could post about it….

I was reading another page called Running 4 HIM and she was talking about God’s healing power….  And it hit me…..

I RAN 1.75 MILES TODAY.

I’M TRAINING FOR MY SECOND 1/2 MARATHON.

I RAN ALMOST 20 MILES LAST WEEK.

Why is this such a big deal?  Because, that handicap placard at the top of the post is mine.  From 2006.  I was diagnosed in 1986 with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.  By the time 2006 rolled around I was in bad shape.  I was barely able to walk, I was on several medications, including some used for chemotherapy, and my doctor had recently told me that I better get prepared because the medication treatments were failing and I’d be in a wheelchair within the year.

But God…

But God…

Here’s what I wrote in July of 2006:

“I have always believed that healings happen, but that I am not worthy and there are others who need to be healed more than myself. I have always had a very hard time praying for myself. Well, you know that my Rheumatoid Arthritis has been progressing significantly lately. I have been in an incredible amount of pain and have had to go through a round of steroids just to get by. I have been taking 3 800 mg Ibuprofen every single day in addition to the supplements that I take from Melaleuca. This is barely taking the edge off, and on more than one occasion I have had to hang that annoying handicap placard to go into the store. I have not been able to fully close my hands in at least 3 months. My ankles catch and I have a hard time walking. I was sitting in church the other day and my pastor felt led to talk about healing and the story he chose that day (a day in which I was in an incredible amount of pain and feeling particularly defeated) was the story of how his wife had been healed from Acute Rheumatoid Arthritis. She was wheelchair bound. And after she had been healed her doctor who was not a Christian told her that her God had healed her. When it was time for the peace he came over to me and asked if I was ok. I told him I had Rheumatoid Arthritis and was in a lot of pain. During announcements he told us that they had decided to have a healing service. (Episcopalians don't do this often). He encouraged me to come.
So, over the next few weeks my pain continued to build. My friend Michelle said she thought it was so that I would know when I had been healed. I began receiving emails from people about healings that had taken place. Weird, because this hadn't happened before. Everything was pointing to the healing service. Fr. Desmond called the prayer teams to the altar. There were probably 15 or so teams that went up there. I didn't recognize most of them. Then he called those of us who wished to be healed to the altar. I got in line and followed everyone up there. Imagine how I felt when the person I ended up standing in front of was Fr. Desmond's wife! I told her what to pray for (we haven't met before) and she began to cry. We prayed and I felt a hand on my back. It was my oldest son laying hands on me and praying for me. (I have not taught him to do this, in fact I instructed him to stay in the pew, he was led by the Lord to do so). I went back to my pew and prayed for others I knew who were in need of healing and prayed in Thanksgiving for whatever was God's will for my life. Then the congregation prayed together. As I knelt there I literally felt warmth around my hands. I can't describe it, but it was literally hot around my hands and knuckles.
The next two days I slept a LOT. I am usually up around 6am every day. I didn't get up until about 8 and took a nap both days from 2-4! Guess what?! I have not taken ANY pain medication at ALL since Wednesday. My left ankle has had a catch a couple of times, but my hands have no pain. Where my index finger knuckle was so tender the last time I went to the doctor that he wanted to give me a cortisone shot there is no tenderness. And... I can completely close my hands!! I mowed the grass Friday night and I felt fine afterward. Last time I mowed the grass I was in such pain by the end of it I literally cried for an hour and could barely walk for several days afterward.”

So, today I had a bad run.  OH WELL!!!  Praise God that I was out there running! 

How quickly we forget how blessed we are….

Oh, and my month of thankful…..  It really reminds you of what’s important…  You know I’m on day 27 and I have yet to be thankful for any ITEM I have?  It’s all about relationship…..  Remember that

This just makes my RUN STREAK that much more important to me

2011- A Recap!

It’s that time….  Time to start thinking about resolutions again…  but before looking forward, it’s always a good idea to examine from where we came…..

I’ve done this for a few years now…  Here are the recaps for 2010, 2009, and 2008 if you’re interested….  It’s fun to look back and see what I had to say about those years and how much our lives have changed since then!

So, in 2011 we had many exciting things happen,  here’s my recap:

January: 

January began with the anticipation of finalizing our adoptions.  We had just finalized other aspects in court at the end of December, so now we were looking forward to having the CPS chapter of our lives over with.  Shea turned 2 in January, and became even more active and busy than she was before.  People say of their children, “They’re 2 going on 20”…  Well….  Shea actually IS “2 going on 20”.  She’s going to rule the world some day.  Does this give you a bit of a picture of “Shea Speed”?

February:

In February our daughter by heart, Heather, came to stay with us for a little while, before finding out she was pregnant.  She then decided to move in with her sister.  We continued on with the many CPS and ECI visits on our adoption journey.  It seemed that our schedule was only getting more and more full…..

March:

In March Michael was asked to be on the Discovery Team for the church.  Discovery is a spiritual retreat the church puts on every year designed to help you grow deeper in your faith.  It was a big, big commitment, but when Discovery took place in April I think we could all agree it was life changing for the team as well as the pilgrims.  I’m so glad he got to do this.  We also got word from the County that Michael’s department was going to face a major budget cut, including lay offs and pay cuts.  Michael was able to keep his job, but he was reduced to 32 hours a week (resulting in a 20% pay cut), and his schedule was changed.  It was quite frightening knowing our budget was already stretched, and that once the babies were adopted we’d no long receive foster money either, resulting in an even deeper cut.  But, we took the news by hitting our knees in prayer, and, I’m proud to say we made it through.  It wasn’t until December that his pay was reinstated, but God provided for us every step of the way.  Also in March Auston found out that he was elected to the Order of the Arrow in Boy Scouts, which was quite an honor.

April:

In April Auston and Gregory attended a Teen Pact Class in Austin, for which they needed a suit…  They look sharp, huh?

Also in April I was helping Michelle out by watching her kids, here they are in front of the cross on Easter at the church.  It was a bit of an adjustment to have 6 children instead of 4 in tow many days, but I wouldn’t trade the time I got to spend with them, and they with each other.  I knew I couldn’t do it for long, so I just tried to enjoy them while I had them until Michelle found another babysitter. 

May:

In May, Gregory graduated from the Encourager Homeschool Enrichment Program, and turned 12, and was elected Senior Patrol Leader of the troop, Auston completed his Ordeal for the completion of is election into the Order of the Arrow, and was elected Assistant Senior Patrol Leader for the troop, and Calley graduated from Midland Lee High School with HIGH honors.  It was a very very busy month! 

June:

June… Oh June….  In June our family was finalized.  We are now officially Shea and William’s forever family and they ours.  June holds a major importance in our lives now.  It was an incredible way to start the summer

We could not believe how many people came out to our adoption to celebrate our family.  It was amazing to see that these people love our children as much as we do and were just as happy for us.  Really.  Words can’t describe how much it meant to us to have everyone there.  It made the day what it was supposed to be.  About community and love.  And sharing that love.

Seriously.  Do you see how many people were there to support us?  Could we be any luckier?  Even the judge was taken a back by the volume of people….

We are sooooo blessed….

It was a good day

Also in June, Semalee’s Oma, Lois Cook passed away.  She is dearly missed.

July:

In July Semalee went to Boy Scout Summer Camp with the boys again.  This year we headed back to Oklahoma, to Camp Hale.  It was an eventful trip, to say the least, complete with a broken down trailer and 3 out of 4 of the adults getting the flu the last night there and driving home sick…..  Blech….  Again I say, if they say I wasn’t a good mom, they need to read these recaps….    We also had a party to celebrate the adoptions, and had a special service at our church.  It was strange to realize that at that service the adoptions felt so much more real to us then they did in court.  We are so blessed by our church family as well. 

As if that wasn’t enough, Michael and I celebrated 15 years of marriage.  Weird to think after all this time I still love him with everything in me, and even weirder that he still loves me

August:

In August Auston spent 2 weeks at Camp Eagle as part of the service team.  It was sooooo weird to have him gone for that long.  And when he came back he was quite different.  My boy is growing up so fast.  The rest of us just tried to relax as best as we could, and started preparing for the school year.  Auston is doing 10th grade and Gregory is doing a majority of work from 8th grade…

September:

Mikey turned 40 in September…  FORTY….  Man he’s old~!!!!    I did not make this cake, my friend Terri did, and she did a great job.  We spent September getting ready for Terri’s wedding and settling into school for the year.  I made the wedding cake for Terri and Jeff’s wedding.  While I was happy with how it turned out, I’m not interested in making another wedding cake…… ever……

Michael was spoiled with a birthday MONTH instead of just one lousy day

October:

And in a blink it was October.  Our daughter by heart gave birth to our Granddaughter by heart, Makinzee just a few days before Auston turned 15.  Auston got his learner’s permit, and I am scared to death of the big 1-6 and him driving BY HIMSELF….. 

I also went to Women of Faith in San Antonio with my very dear friend Gwenn.  It was a wonderful experience, one we hope to repeat annually

November:

Michael was able to go to St. Louis for an Affected Coworker’s retreat with COPS in November.  He was really glad he went.    And, Semalee turned 37, and William turned two   We shared a birthday party with Zeny, who turned 3 a few days after William’s birthday.  I made a Dora and Diego cake for their birthday….

December:

And, before we knew it we were in December.  It was to be our first Christmas knowing that we had these babies forever.  Much anticipation preceded the event   We’d all done some growing since last year, and we were all breathing a little easier.  Shea got over her fear of Santa, for which we were so grateful for, since we had tickets to ride the Polar Express!  We cut down our tree at our favorite tree farm, and maintained as much of our traditions as possible amidst our crazy busy schedule.  Christmas day brought a visit from Heather and Makinzee, and some much needed rest.

As we look forward to 2012, we have so much to be thankful for this year.  Yes…. soooo much to be thankful for.  I can’t even imagine how 2012 could top 2011….  but with Michael and Auston planning a mission trip to Sri Lanka there’s some potential

 

From our family to yours, we hope your year has been wonderful as well!  May God bless you in 2012!