Thoughtful Thursday- Bad Mommy Moments

 

My oldest son is turning 15 on Saturday and I wonder where the time went.  I mean it really truly seems like just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital!  This thought is very encouraging for me, however, when dealing with diapers and toddlers   I pray that before I know it THEY too will be getting ready to fly the coup!  LOL!  Just kidding…  In all seriousness, I’ve mentioned several times on this blog about how I’m so not ready to let my son go yet.  I mean, in a lot of ways I know that HE isn’t ready, because he hasn’t mastered things like driving a car, laundry, cooking, etc… 

But he is getting closer!  So much closer.  So this tends to make me reflect on my job as a mom.  Because he’s the oldest, most of the time I’m figuring things out with him.  I know this is rough on a kid because I, too, was the oldest (sort of)…  I know it’s frustrating to feel like the rules are different for the younger siblings and I try not to do that too much.  But, as a mom, I now see the reasons behind different rules for different kids.

I lose my temper sometimes with him when I probably shouldn’t.  Most of the time it’s just a misunderstanding and I know in my heart that he’s a really really good kid with really really good goals for life.  I’m so proud of who he is.

But, I was asking him what he wanted for his Birthday Dinner and such and he chose Rainforest Café.  I’m personally fine with this, because I love this place, and we’ve never taken the babies there…  I think it will be fun.  So, I asked him if he wanted to get the volcano there or if he wanted me to make a cake.  He replied, just get the volcano mom, that way you don’t have to go all cake crazy on me….  Ouch…. 

Unfortunately he’s right.  I do go crazy.  But it upsets me because the whole reason I started making cakes was for my kids!  I never wanted it to turn into something they didn’t want   I guess we all have things that we do in life that are intended to be good, but go sour.

So, on Saturday I won’t be making a cake.  I won’t be going cake crazy.  But hopefully I’ll get a chance to just have a good time with my son, who is growing up so fast, right in front of my eyes

Happy Birthday on Saturday, Auston.  I am so very very proud of the person you are.  I love you Buddy.  Thanks for putting up with me learning how to be a parent on you