Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thoughtful Thursday- Adoption Story Part 4

The story begins Here- and continues Tuesdays and Thursdays.... Acouple of more months went by, and we just kept on keeping on with our little chick.  We were really enjoying her and she was growing so fast.  Two of the other families were dropped off the list, but one family remained.  It looked like this was where Shea was going to go.  The CPS worker was leaning towards this placement, which would mean she would be gone some time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We were terrified of losing our baby girl.  It was truly gut wrenching.  I'm absolutely not going to tell you that foster care is all roses.  It's awful at times.  Putting her to bed at night was the hardest.  My husband and I would both cry just about every night.  Our boys were growing more and more attached too.  We really began to wonder what we were thinking starting this foster journey because it really looked like it was simply going to end in pain.  We were heartbroken.  We were worried about our boys recovering from this, we were worried about how Shea would do being yanked away from us.  She had a visit with the family remaning and the other kids in that family and the visit went well.  Everything was falling into place for this family to have her.  We continued to pray God's will for her life and committed to that, no matter what.  We knew that we had only prayed God's will , and that whatever happened, even if she left us, would be just that.  There was some comfort in this for sure.  It was possibly the only thing getting us through.  That, and the fact that the remaining family had biological siblings of Shea's, so we knew they would all have each other.  We desperately wanted her to stay with us, but also knew that having a biological sibling to share with would help her as she got older and had questions about how she got to where she was.

God's Will....  God's Will....  We'll make it and so will she because we have the Will of God, which is always better than what we can think up....

I was studying Kings in Bible Study and we had a verse:  1Kings 22:34 "And a certain man sent an arrow from his bow without thought of its direction, and gave the king of Israel a wound where his breastplate was joined to his clothing; so he said to the driver of his war-carriage, Go to one side and take me away out of the army, for I am badly wounded."  Doesn't sound like it applies, but basically, the point is that man can make all the plans he wants, and God will direct a random arrow to it's destination to fulfill His will and His plans.

We had court, and parental rights were terminated.  In court it was revealed that the biological mom was pregnant........  Random Arrow?   The CPS worker told us that we could expect Shea to leave in about 2 weeks.  We told her we were praying for her, and we knew this was a very difficult decision for her to make.

We were heartbroken, but determined to enjoy our last days with our daughter.  We told her that she would always be our first daughter, and we would always love her as we put her to bed that night.  Then we cried.

To be continued....

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