Wednesday, September 14, 2005

And the Crunch is on...

Well.. The countdown begins today! I officially leave town tomorrow. Before I leave I have to clean my house, do some PTO stuff, get my hair and nails done, do some work for my business.... etc... Oh yeah make a quilt for Ben's baby.... Which leads me into my story for today...

This is the story of some high school kids. Me and my group of friends. You always remember your first. That is just the way it is. Ben was my first. He told me he wanted to marry me and that was that. He was my first love. Well our relationship was rocky at best. What high school relationship isn't? At one point I found out that he was dating another girl, Julie. Then because I was young I actually let him date us both at the same time. I was sure that he would see that we were meant to be. Well, he joined the army and the night before he left for the Army he told me that he knew it was us that was meant to be and we spent that last glorious night together. I moved into his mother's house and began learning how to be a good wife so I would be prepared when he got home. His best friend and I (Karl) spent most of our time together because we were, quite frankly lost without Ben. One day Ben told his mother that we were going to be moving out when he got home. She flipped out, because I guess she thought we would live with her? I don't know. She imposed a curfew on me, and I was not to spend anytime alone down in Ben and my's room with Karl. Then when Ben called for his weekly call on the weekend she wouldn't let me talk to him. And while she was talking to him she told him that she caught Karl and I in bed (in Ben's bed)! I was completely floored! And I had no idea what to do!! I knew it wasn't true, and Karl knew it wasn't true, but from Ben's standpoint... Who is he supposed to believe? So he started back with Julie. This devestated me and I had Karl help me move out. When Ben came back from the Army he and Julie had their perfect little reunion and all was well. Problem was we all ran with the same friends. So I had to hear about it, and because I apparently like pain I actually asked. Karl and I didn't talk to Ben. It was our understanding that he didn't want to talk to us. And if you got all of us in the same place, it was ugly. Julie and I hated eachother like you would not believe. After a while Karl and I became very close. We had come to rely on eachother. One night we crossed the line between friendship and lovers. As soon as it was over I knew it was a mistake. Karl and I talked about it and agreed that we would just be very very good friends. I was so terrified that I would end up losing his friendship too like I had lost Ben's, and I couldn't bear that thought. So friends we were.
I joined the army. If Ben could do it and he came home saying how hard Basic Training was then I certainly could do it and not complain about how hard it was! So a couple of months after Ben got back I left. Over time Ben and Karl made up and were friends again. Over time I was able to talk with Ben again too. Seemed married life wasn't everything it was chalked up to be. Honestly, he still had a very special place in my heart, and I wished things were different. But the fact was, they weren't. In fact Julie was pregnant. I came home to visit and got to spend some quality time with both Ben and Karl. I wouldn't trade it for anything. We worked out a lot of junk that was between us all. Ben said he wished we had talked when he got home. We started talking then. We talked on the phone while Ben was at work with nothing else to do. Meanwhile I was dating my current husband. I got the call when Julie had the baby, Karl told me and I shared my news with him that I was now pregnant! I ended up moving back to Utah for a short period of time over the summer because I was such an emotion wreck during my pregnancy. Karl and I spent a lot of time together. One day we were out at a ghost town and he was out looking around and I was sitting in the car. I had a conversation with God. I asked him who I was supposed to be with, Karl or Scott (the father of my baby). I asked him for a sign. Karl got back in the car and started eating a candy bar. I asked him for some and he said no. We ended up in a huge fight over this stupid candy bar and I took that as my sign. Shortly after that I married Scott and shortly after that I moved back to be with him in Texas.
Fast forward a year or so.. I don't remember how long. Julie and Karl had become close. In fact Ben walked in on them kissing one day. Seems married life wasn't all Julie had hoped for either. Ben called me and told me he was so upset. I was too. Now Ben and Karl were not really friends again! Ben and Julie ended up getting divorced and Karl and Julie started dating. I came home for another visit. As I always did, Karl and I went to dinner. I didn't know but he and Julie were pretty serious. Julie found out that he was having dinner with me and she freaked out!! That is when he had "the talk" with her. This is the same talk I had had with Scott, though Scott is not a jealous person I just thought he should know where he stood. He told her that I was a very vital part of his life and she was either going to deal with that fact or they were not going to have any future. You can imagine this didn't go well, since Julie and I were not exactly on each other's side. We finished our dinner and Karl told me how he was feeling for Julie and what he had told her. It was so nice to see that spark in his eyes. I could tell he really loved her. A couple months later I was sitting on my computer and I get an instant message from Julie. You can imagine I backed slowly away from the computer because I wasn't sure she hadn't somehow rigged it to blow up!!
Seems she had decided the tension between she and I was affecting Karl and she wanted to try to find some common ground to make his life easier. I was skeptical at first, but willing. We ended up talking quite a lot and worked out most of our differences. Turns out there was a reason the same men kept falling for us. Dare I say it? *gasp* We are actually a lot alike!
Well I went home for another visit and Karl and Julie got married. Unfortunately I missed the wedding by one week, but was very happy for them. Then over the summer I stayed with my dad for 6 weeks (he and my mom had recently separated, another long long story) and spent some time with Karl and Julie. The kids and I went over for supper one Sunday and when I got there Julie told me that it was Ben's visitation day that day and he would probably be around later with his new fiance, Tina. I said, ooh does he know I will be here? She said no!
I will never forget the look on Ben's face that day. He walked into the house, and Julie and I were bantering back and forth like old friends while making milkshakes for the kids. We turned to see who had come in and there was Ben with his mouth on the floor. I think he wasn't sure if it was safe to move! LOL!! I was so happy to see him again. His fiance I couldn't really read. They got married a few months later and I was there for the wedding. I didn't get the impression that she was real happy to see me, but Ben make it very clear he was glad I was there. To make the day just a little more exciting Julie suggested that Karl bring me to the wedding! That was fun, I have to say!
So, tomorrow I will go to Utah to watch Karl graduate from College. Julie asked me to come.
I have to say... 15 years ago I would have never guessed that I would call Julie one of my closest friends, but I do. There is something special about lifelong friends. No one can ever take their part.
So tomorrow I will fly to Utah and get to see Ben and Karl and Julie and hopefully Tina will be at peace with me being there... Tina and Ben just had a baby boy who I can't wait to meet...

Should be interesting, but fun!

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