Saturday, January 14, 2006
They say time flies... And I have to say, I agree. Just the other day I was looking at my children as they were playing in the yard and it hit me like a ton of bricks how fast they are growing! You know, I am pretty sure that I have been here pretty much every day of their lives, but somehow I feel like I am still managing to miss it!! I guess the death of my girl scout leader is bringing up some feelings. Like I was trying to remember the last time I saw her. It has probably been more than 15 years. Where did that time go? I don't believe she ever saw my children. I do live far away now, but do make it up to the state to visit from time to time. It also got me to thinking about my own kids and how am I going to tell them when their grandma dies? I can't even imagine how hard that has been for Mindy and Danielle. But you know, probably harder for Mindy because she still lives in the state. As for me, I got to thinking how much it will really affect my kids when my mom dies. Then I got angry. I know anger is a normal part of the grieving process, and even though I haven't seen Lani in a long long time I am still grieving. But I got to really thinking about it, and it breaks my heart to realize that my oldest son is 9 years old, and my mother has only been to his house to visit him TWICE. Once when he was born, and once when Greg was born. Once for Greg (when he was born). I can count on my fingers the times they have even seen her. Now I agree that it is as much my fault as it is hers. I am the one that moved 1500 miles away, but it breaks my heart to know that she is missing out on them, and they are missing out on her. It is so easy to get caught up in the things of life and then when you look back you realize that missed out on all of the important stuff because of the other things that you let take priority. Take time today to spend the time with your kids. I spent time playing board games with mine today, and had the privilege of spending time with my nephew too. He has turned into a very enjoyable young man. I just hope nothing clouds my vision and I miss out too.