Thursday, February 23, 2006

Ever feel like a bug on a windshield?

Some days I feel like a bug flying along, minding my own business and then BAM! Here comes a car and I am stuck to the dang windshield!! Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever wonder if life is just full of twists and turns waiting to throw you off balance? Well, I have had some twists and turns lately! Some good, and some bad, some exciting, and some scary. Sit down, have some coffee and enjoy your peek into my current world, but be warned, it will all be different tomorrow!

So, as is my usual way of dealing with things, let's start with the good! My Melaleuca business is going GREAT! Sure, it could be moving faster, if I wanted to devote more time to it, and I might, but for right now I am very pleased with my return to the time investment I am willing to do. I feel like I have turned the corner in a positive way, which is a good thing, considering I have had some set backs. I hear people tell me all day when making dials that this just sounds like a scam or a pyramid scheme, or too good to be true etc.. And, it really doesn't bother me because I know in my heart that it is a business of enhancing lives, not destryoing them, and I know what kind of person I am, and that if it weren't everything it claims to be and more I would not be associated with it. Well, the other day my dad (natural father) said those things to me. And, while it wasn't the first time I had heard them, it was the first time a member of my family hadn't trusted my character as a person and it hurt. I wallowed for a minute, but then I found more resolve then ever. I will succeed with or without him, and he is not in control of my destiny! So, now it has become my mission to move on!

Another twist in my life that isn't so pleasant, in fact it is downright scary is a dear friend of mine's daughter was diagnosed with cancer. She is a beautiful 8 month old girl who needs all of our prayers. You can view her page at http:/// . It just further cements my personal mission with Melaleuca to get these toins out of our homes! If you are in the Houston area I encourage you to go to the blood drive this weekend.

And, it is spring here in Houston, which I LOVE! I love the flowers, I love not having to wear a coat (even though I have only had to do that a handful of times this year) and I love that Spring Break is fast approaching. It also means that I am really beginning to miss my kids. I don't like that they are in school for so many hours every day, and I really only get about 4 hours of their awake life, most of which is spent doing homework and getting dinner ready, going to scouts, football practice, getting ready for tomorrow, and bathing. I feel like I am losing my kids. Every year around this time I consider homeschooling, and this year is not really different, except that I think I actually might do it this time LOL! Gregory is back on his "I don't want to go to school" kick, and while I don't have any specific issues with the school this year I don't want him to either!! I miss him, and I feel like Auston and I are growing further and further apart every single day. Do I have concerns? ABSOLUTELY!! I am not sure this is the right thing, and I am not sure it is right for me. I am not sure I won't end up resenting my kids, I am not sure I can still move my business (which I need the money LOL) and I am not sure I won't feel suffocated. I am not sure that Gregory wont become a momma's boy and be a social misfit, I am not sure Auston will ever talk to me again if I do this. I am not sure how my extended family will react, and I am not sure how my friends will act. That isn't all, but all I can think of at the moment. On the other hand, I think it might do us some good to spend more time together. I want, for example to go and get my kids early today because it is beautiful outside and I want to spend some time letterboxing with them, or riding bikes. If we were homeschooling that would be our major activity today! I also know that both of my kids are smarter than a lot of the kids in their class. (That is not, by the way, me bragging) Most people would think this is a good thing, but in Gregory's case especially, it is not. He is bored. And Auston is breezing through everything too. If I had them at home we could go at their pace and continue to nurture their love for learning instead of making them wait for everyone else. We have considered letting each of them test up to the next grade, and in Auston's case his teachers have mentioned it a couple of times, but I don't want him exposed to the social issues of the next grade any sooner than necessary! I don't want him going to Junior Hight any sooner than he has to. I have heard some scary stuff about that place! I also worry constantly about the inevitable time when someone in my family in Utah get's sick. How can I go and feel good about the time I spend helping them if I am having to either leave my kids here, or take them out of school? Then what? Do I enroll them up there and expect them to be fine? Unfortunately, the time will come when I need some flexibility. It is one of the perils of living so far away. And, as distant as my mom and I are, I would not be able to live with myself if I were not there for her in every way possible if she were to become ill. So, that is my current exciting turn! Stay tuned for updates, and I welcome your comments as long as they aren't things like, you are a complete moron!! Constuctive criticism is ok, but please, don't just hurl insults and unfounded assumptions at me..

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