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Simple Gospel

Simple Gospel by United Pursuit

I want to know you, Lord
Like I know a friend
I want to know you, Lord

It's Monday and time to start our week of right with focusing our minds where they are best suited to be focused.  Did you have a busy weekend?  I are you still feeling tired, or not enough?

I want to know you, Lord
Like I know a friend
I want to know you, Lord

I've talked a lot lately about where we get our identity from, and how the world affects what we believe in our core.  It happens so easily, so quickly.  We can take our eyes off of heaven for just a moment and we forget who we are and whose we are.  But I'm here to tell you that no matter what that inner tape says, God wants you to come to Him.  He wants you to pursue Him.

So I’m laying down all my religion
I’m laying down
I want to know you, Lord

I'm not talking about sitting in church on Sundays.  Although I do think that's important, I do not believe it really defines your relationship with our Savior.  I also do not believe that it matters which pew you sit in, or which steeple you worship under on Sunday mornings.  If God desired us to worship all the same, he would have created the desire for the same type of worship in each of us.  But He created us creatively, and we enjoy different styles of worship.  The different denominations and worship styles give us that variety.

I use to think that I could box you in
But I’m laying down
I want to know you, Lord

One of my favorite phrases is "Don't put God in a box".  We cry out to God in prayer for things and then, when He doesn't respond in the way we hoped we think He didn't respond.  There's no trust in that.  When we pray, we ought to pray God's Will above all else.  It's so hard to let go of control, because as humans, we see things the way we see them, and as God, He sees them how He sees them.  Sometimes, we don't see the answers He does.  We also underestimate His power.  Or, His concern.  Do you know that God can do anything?  Do you know that He cares for the intimate details of your life?  Do you know that He cares for you even when, and perhaps especially when you don't measure up?

Lord, I’ve been told to be ashamed
Lord, I’ve been told I don’t measure up
Lord, I’ve been told I’m not good enough
But you’re here with me

How often do we do this?  We say you must belong to this church, or act this way, or serve this much for God to work in our lives.  This is not what God desires for us.  What God desires is relationship with Him..... and not just our relationship with Him..... How we see our relationship with Him affects how others see Him.  We are called to bring people to our Loving Christ.  When we expect so much to be able to even enter the presence of God, how does that draw others to our savior?

I reach out and you find me in the dust
You say no amount of untruths can separate us

I have a lot of struggles myself with where the lines are, but one thing I know, is that I am far from perfect.  I reach out to God and He meets me where I am.  I do not have to get my act together to reach out to Him.  I don't even have to stop my sinful behavior.  I simply need to reach for Him.  And through that reaching, He will change me from the inside out.

I will rejoice in the simple gospel
I will rejoice in you, Lord

It really is simple. We just have to let it be.

Love, Semalee

Thursday Thoughts- Does your day run you?

Phew- it's been a while since I wrote my post on ABA Therapy (Applied Behavioral Therapy) and how it's working in our home.  We still continue to work with Dr. Salek to fine tune our behaviors and find more of a semblance of normal.  We've been working with her for about 6 months now, and if you had told me that in 6 months my life would be this different from what it was, I would have called her so much sooner.  So, if you're in the Houston area and you're struggling with very difficult behaviors in your home from one or more of your children that are related to autism, adoption, bipolar, anxiety etc, and you feel like your child is holding you hostage, please call her.  I am here to tell you it is worth every penny and every moment.  Do not wait, because 6 months from now you will wish you had called today!  (FYI I do not get any compensation from her, I just wholeheartedly believe in her).

So, one of the things that she implemented, was a schedule.  We set up schedules for the kids to help regulate what they do during the day, how much time is spent on media (TV, Tablet, Computer etc) and how much time they have free to do as they wish.  We also put into the schedule morning, afternoon, and evening chores.  If I'm being completely honest, I'll tell you the afternoon chores just don't happen consistently, so I'm working those back out of our schedule, which is an important point about the schedule- you are not locked in!  The schedule can, and will change.  But, the morning and evening chores do and that has helped all of us tremendously.  It helps the kids know that they have value, because they have purpose in our home. It helps me not feel quite as overwhelmed because I'm not the only one responsible for the chores.  It also gives me an opportunity to sit down and relax for a moment.  For example, after dinner the kids do the after dinner chores, and I usually sit in my bed, or on the couch and play a game or two on my tablet during this down time.  It's nice to have some down time when the kids are still awake.

In the beginning there was a schedule for William.  Then we decided that all of the kids should have one, so that William didn't feel singled out, and truly, they all could use one anyway if for no other reason to regulate the media time.  (Does anyone else struggle with feeling like media takes over their household)...  Once we got them all rolling in schedules of their own I decided that writing a new schedule each day was way too much for us.  I could see the value in it, and I could really see how knowing what the day held helped William with his anxiety and consequently his mood, but I could also see that I was about to go under the waters of overwhelm real fast.   So, I went to pinterest looking for templates or something to make this ABA Schedule easier.  What I found, were references to Managers of Their Homes, a program by Terri Maxwell, that I had heard about in the past, but never actually tried.  I decided that I needed to give it a try and see if it helped us.  I will tell you the program, along with their software, ScheduleBreeze has really helped us tremendously.

There were many things I learned as we implemented the schedule.  One of them was that I didn't have any space for me.  Not only did I need that space, but the kids need to know that I have space for me because I'm modeling for them how they should organize their day.  Do I want their days full of doing more and more and more, with no time to just be?  So, now we all have schedules, and it helps me to keep myself in line as well.

Colossians 4:5 says, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.”  Over the next little while we'll spend some time talking about what the best use of time is.  I will give you a teaser- it's not busyness, or even productivity.

Stay tuned for more on how I'm getting my life together :)

Love, Semalee

Music Monday- You Know Me

Recently I went to a funeral at our church for one of our church family.  The lady who had died was an amazing soul, and such an inspiration to me.  She was always kind, and always had her eyes on the Lord.  I always felt welcome in her presence and, now that she's gone, I wish I had spent more time there.  But, no matter how much time we think we have, the reality is that we don't know the number of our days, and some day they will end.

In the funeral we sang a song called Wayfaring Stranger by Johnny Cash:

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger

Traveling through this world below

There is no sickness, no toil, nor danger

In that bright land to which I go

I'm going there to see my Father

And all my loved ones who've gone on

I'm just going over Jordan

I'm just going over home

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me

I know my way is hard and steep

But beauteous fields arise before me

Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep

I'm going there to see my Mother

She said she'd meet me when I come

So, I'm just going over Jordan

I'm just going over home

I'm just going over Jordan

I'm just going over home

In the line "I'm going to see my Mother" I found myself almost removed from the service and speaking to God, crying out to God for my own mother.  If you've read my blog, you know that my mother and I don't have a relationship.  I could go into many reasons why it is so, and most of them would make it sound like it's all her fault.  And, I'd venture to guess if you were to ask her why we don't have a relationship her reasons would be many and most would lay the blame on me.  And, they'd both be true.  Life has not been kind to our relationship.  But, as I talked with God, He reminded me that even if we don't reconcile here on earth, that we will reconcile in Heaven, because that is when our souls will be able to speak to each other, and we'll truly understand each other.  Here on earth we have a very hard time truly hearing each other's heart and soul.

It's been an incredibly painful thing, and we've missed out on so much together.  But it's also reminded me often of how much I need God.  With God, we don't have to wait for the other side of Heaven for our soul to be understood.  He understand us now.  There is no misunderstanding coming from him.  He KNOWS us.  What a comfort that is.  Do you ever feel misunderstood by others?  Do you truly know that there is someone who understands you, even when no one else does?  It doesn't matter if we understand Him.  And it doesn't matter what we've done.  He sees our heart, our pain, our soul.

You Know Me- Bethel Music

You have been

And You will be

You have seen

And You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall

When I come or go, You see it all

You hung the stars and You move the sea

And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You have been

And You will be

And You have seen

And You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall

When I come or go, You see it all

You hung the stars and You move the sea

And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

And nothing is hidden from Your sight

Wherever I go, You find me

And You know every detail of my life

And You are God and You don't miss a thing

And nothing is hidden from Your sight

Wherever I go, You find me

And You know every detail of my life

Cause You are God and You don't miss a thing

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You memorize me

Nothing is hidden from His sight.  He knows every detail of our lives.  We can rest in that.

Love, Semalee

P.S.  Here's Wayfaring Stranger too :)

P.P.S. Here's another version by Ed Sheeran if you're interested :)

Thursday Thoughts: The Comparison Trap

Recently I've taken a break from social media.  It's now been more than a month that I've been off social media and I've learned a few things.

It's all too easy to get caught up in the world of social media and forget that what goes on there is pretty far from reality.  I know that it is a way to keep in touch with people, but how often do we use it as a crutch to believe that we are staying in touch, when really we aren't.  We're just looking in on someone's life, but still keeping a distance.  There's not a place on our Facebook wall where we can sit together and talk about the things that really are bothering us.

What really got me convicted to take a break was the change I was seeing in myself.  I have always been a person who truly enjoys seeing my friends have a good time, even when it didn't include me. It really has been a thing that doesn't bother me.  But lately, I find myself in a sort of "in between" stage.  I think it has some to do with the fact that I have adult children and teen age children and young children.  Because of this dynamic, I often don't feel like I truly "fit" with any group. My friends who have children my adult children's ages are now entering the empty nest time in their lives and don't have the worries of the 7 and 8 year old life that we do.  My friends who have young kids my Littles' ages are much younger than we are and have a totally different take on many things as a result.  I have some friends who have teenage kids, but the teenage years are so difficult with time being so scarce that there's not a lot of room to connect there either.

And, I'm also finding that being a mom of adult kids who are going out into the world and living their own lives is much harder than I anticipated.  So much of my life has been all about them, and now their lives are (rightfully so) not about me.  I miss my boys.

These things have worked together to knock down my self esteem a bit.  As this has happened, I've begun looking at Facebook differently.  I've noticed more where I don't seem to stack up to others.  My friends get together and instead of me being happy about it for them, I'm feeling sorry for myself, and wondering why I wasn't invited.  I've lost my sense of true identity, because I allowed Facebook/Instagram/SnapChat etc to define it for me instead of the One who truly loves me and knows me.

I was reading a devotional in the Bible app recently called "People of the Second Chance".  There was a quote in there that really hit me to the core, and I think it is well worth repeating.  It was, "My truest, nonnegotiable identity is the beloved.  And in spite of my checkered past, my fabulous flops, my painful history, my deepest flaws, my boneheaded screw-ups, and yes, even beyond my own beliefs about myself, I am God's beloved.  This is my foundational identity of every human being.

"This is important because identity is the engine that dries the relationship not only with ourselves, but also with God and others.  If your identity is broken, your life is broken.  If you define it incorrectly, you will carry that wrong definition into your story.  if all you see are your limitations, you will miss out on the stunning possibilities God is creating in front of you."  I assume more can be found in his book, People of the Second Chance: A Guide to Bringing Life-Saving Love to the World

This really spoke to me, though.  You see, one thing I will never claim to be is perfect.  One thing I do not have is "it all together".  I'm just like any other wife and mom out there who spends time bouncing between overwhelmed and barely getting by most of the time.  I have deep regrets as a mom, things I wish I could do over, ways I wish I could better show my kids how much I love them.  I have deep regrets as a wife, ways that I have not been a good partner to my husband, times when I didn't give him the grace he deserved.  I have deep regrets as a child, things I've said, and ways I've acted out towards my parents, and most particularly my mother.  I have failed in many ways at being a good friend, too.  I've said things that hurt my friends, that were not intended to do so, but still did.  You can't unsay things once they've been said.  All of these people are people who I love so dearly, yet I have made mistakes.  And now, as a mother in law, I find myself failing in many ways there too. I am human.  I am far from perfect.  And the people who I love are also human.  We fail.  All of us.  It's just one of the reasons we need God so much.  Because, we need to know in our deepest darkest failings that our core identity has not changed.  We are Beloved.

So, for now, I will keep my eyes less on the things on social media and more on the things in my Bible.  I will spend the month of November as I have for many years, remembering what I'm grateful for, and not what I lack.  I will do my best to forgive others when they are human and I will also try to forgive myself.  I will try to see the world with the eyes of Jesus, and see the wonder of it all.

What about you?  Do you find yourself getting caught up in the comparison trap of social media?  Do you need to take time to refocus as well?  What are ways you keep yourself in check?

Love, Semalee