Wordless Wednesday

Time

Ever feel like time is just flying by?  Wednesday of last week my husband was put on special assignment, which required him to go to night shift with no days off.  When we got married (a LONG time ago) he was on night shift and remained on night shift for the first 12 years of our marriage.  It's only been recently that he has been on days and I finally feel like we have a *somewhat* normal life.  I never tire of him coming home in the evening for dinner.  I may be tired when I get up with him in the morning, but I count it a blessing.  So, this week he's been on night shift and I'm reminded of just how much I love day shift!  I feel like we are just ships passing in the night.  We've had very little conversation, because he's just too dad gum tired, and I'm trying to keep 4 kids quiet during the day.  I'm ready for this to be over now LOL....

Which got me to thinking about time, and how fast it flies.  It seems like just yesterday we brought Auston home from the hospital.  The cat didn't know what to do with him, and quite frankly, neither did we!!!  We were scared to death.  But I can see it like it was yesterday.  Now he's almost 14 and turning into a man.  Ugh.  We start high school this year and that makes me realize that in just a few years he'll be off!....  What will I do without him here every day?  I can't even bear the thought.  I know I have to let go, and I have to be strong for him, and I will, but inside I'm just trying to grab hold of time and slow it down.  When I was growing up my parents couldn't wait to get me out of there...  I can't imagine that.  And Greg is right behind him, growing up WAY faster than I want him to.  He's interested in girls, and I mean REALLY interested, and starting to pull away from mom a little.  What?  WHY?  I didn't authorize this!  He's supposed to be my baby!!!   And then there's the chick, who is just 18 months old and acts like a 3 year old....  Um excuse me- I got you so I could have a baby again...  Quit growing up so stinkin fast!!!!  And you, Mr. Goat....  Don't even get me started!!!  You are not allowed to follow suit with the rest of these traitors..  You, my precious baby boy must remain just that- my precious baby boy....  Do you hear me????

Why are they not listening to me?????

So, today, on GratiTuesday, I am thankful for the time.  I'm so very thankful that I can stay home and be here when my family needs me.  I am thankful that I can take my husband lunch at his extra job.  I'm thankful that I can homeschool my children and spend that much more time with them, because even though I am right here all the time, I still feel like I'm missing stuff.  I'm thankful that for the most part my kids want to be with me, and I hope that never ever changes.  And yes, I'm thankful that they're growing up.  I know.  Surprising, huh?  I'm thankful that they're growing up because they're really great kids, all four of them and I just know they are going to do really great things.  They make me so proud.  They have incredible hearts.  I just hope I'm half as good as they are.

This post is linked to GratiTuesday on Heavenlyhomemakers :)

Menu Monday

Ok, so last week didn't go exactly as planned, I had planned a night of eating out because we were supposed to take my father in law his truck, and I was excited at the idea that I could finally get his brisket out of my freezer, which desperately needs to be emptied, and then he got someone else to do it for him, so the brisket is still in my freezer and I spent a lot of Tuesday wondering what we should do about dinner......  Flexibility.... It is the name of the game, right?

So- To the husband and children who also read this blog, here is my disclaimer:  This menu plan is to be used as a general guideline which may or may happen as prescribed.  In the event that I decide we will have something different for dinner, or I'm not cooking at all there will be no complaining of any type.

There :)

Ok, with that said, here is this week's menu:

Monday:  Chicken and Macaroni and Cheese

Tuesday:  Snack Dinner (AKA Left Overs, AKA Mama aint cookin! :)

Wednesday:  Taco Soup

Thursday:  Ham and Potatoes Dinner (We're having company LOL)

Friday:  Pizza- I'm gonna try to make my own Pizza dough....  We'll see!

Saturday:  Burgers, Ranch Potatoes

Sunday:  Spaghetti, Salad, Garlic Bread

Lunches we usually do left overs or sandwiches.  Lunch is not a real big affair around here....
I'm going to try something with breakfast- we'll see how well it works out...  I'm not buying any cereal, and I know one child who may have a problem with this...  BUT I'm going to make up breakfast foods, muffins, casserole, tacos etc and let them reheat...  WE'LL SEE!

Supper Sunday-Stuffed Burgers

I'm looking for a good recipe for Hoppin' John.  I had one and I seem to have lost it, so if have one, please share!  Thanks!  In the meantime,  here's a favorite of ours when we're camping, but good all the time:

Stuffed Burgers

Ingredients:

Ground Beef (enough to make two patties per person)

BBQ Rub, or other seasonings, salt, pepper, garlic salt

Cheese

Petite Dice Tomatoes

Mushrooms

Olives

Onions finely diced

Peppers finely diced

Hashbrowns

Bacon

Any other filling of your liking!

Directions:

Form the ground beef (mixed with seasonings if you want) into 2 patties per person.  Make the patties extra thin and extra large so they can go around the fillings.

I usually let each person assemble their own burger so they put what they want in it :)

Take one patty and place fillings of your choice in center, leaving room around the edges for sealing.  Place the other patty on top and seal the edges.

Wrap burger in foil and cook on grill for about 20 minutes or until browned.  Or if you're camping, throw it on the fire for about 10-15 minutes :)

I don't usually serve these with buns, because there's enough in them to not need a bun too, but you can if you want :)

Singing Saturday- Cry Out to Jesus

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

Chorus

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith and love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

Chorus

When your lonely (when you're lonely)
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Family Time Friday!- Making Cookies

Monday I had the pleasure of making cookies with the chick.  She's 18 months old and in to EVERYTHING....  But, one thing she really likes is to mix....  She takes random bowls and spoons and "makes" all kinds of things.  I noticed this a lot while we were on vacation, and decided to make cookies with her when we got home.  So today I finally did, and while it didn't go all peaches and roses, it was still fun.  I really look forward to making more with her and I really look forward to when she's able to actually help in the kitchen.  What a blessing!  I've always cooked with my boys too, but there's something very special about mom and daughter in the kitchen.

And they turned out Yummmo...

Oh, and I put the balls of dough on wax paper in the freezer and froze them, then transferred them to a bag, and only baked what we'd eat today :)

Thoughtful Thursday- Christmas in July

So, I'm getting into One Year to an Organized Life: From Your Closets to Your Finances, the Week-by-Week Guide to Getting Completely Organized for Good, and this week I'm supposed to get all of my photos organized and basically get ready to make a photo album if I so choose next week.  In typical fashion I read the entire July passage (even though I started in the middle of July) and the first week was about getting your address book in order.  Well, this got me to thinking that this is something I really really need to do with Christmas fast approaching, which got me thinking about my Christmas list and beginning to formulate that...  Hmmm  a little bright and shiny maybe?  LOL

So, I did take time to go through my Gmail address book/ contact list.  Have you any idea how many outdated or duplicate addresses I had in there?  SHEESH!  Now I just have to get the mailing addresses in there, which will be really handy now that my phone pulls that address list too, so if I'm out and about I can bring envelopes to address.  Yes, I hand address Christmas envelopes.  I have a thing about it.  LOL

Ever wonder why we will do strange things?  Like, I can drive around in my minivan that hasn't been washed this year, because I don't have time to wash it, but I'll take several days to hand write all of the addresses on my Christmas cards....  LOL

I digress....

So, I'll keep working on that address list and throw a little thought into my Christmas list so I  can start watching for sales, and then I'll look into organizing my photos.  Honestly, the more recent ones are pretty organized anyway, so I'm not in too bad of shape here.  However, I would like to start having a "Year book" made each year to chronicle our lives...  Maybe I'll make the 2009 one next week....

Wordless Wednesday

Gratituesday

I have several friends in my life who I consider to be super moms.  Moms that I watch and get inspired to be better myself for knowing them.  My husband makes fun of me because I watch Kate Plus Eight, and 19 Kids and Counting and shows like that.  He thinks it's because I want that many kids.  But really, what it is about is I watch those moms and say to myself- that woman has 8-10-20 however many kids and look, she's surviving!!!  I only have FOUR!  So surely I can do what I need to do, right?

I also have several online friends that I have met through various ways- email groups, business adventures, etc that I draw off of and try to take tidbits of their lives into my own to make myself a better person.  One friend has been a great source of strength and encouragement in our foster journey, and she now writes a blog.  I met her on an email group, and we've never met in person, but I feel like I know her just the same :)  Another super mom I met on the same email group, and she makes Martha Stewart look lazy, I swear!  She also writes a blog now, and I'm sure you'll see some of her recipes here. 

I have some favorite blog writers too that inspire me, one of my favorites being Heavenly Homemakers.

Then I have "real life" people who inspire me.  You know the type- the friends that help you to see the best in yourself.  The ones that you can be real with.  Trishia, and Gwenn are my inner core, and I have friends that have been my friends my whole life like Jeremy, and Michelle.  It's great to have friends that you can let into the inner core of your being.  That you don't have to get dressed up for.  That you don't have to clean up the house for.  That you can count on to give you good advice and have the guts to tell you what you don't want to hear sometimes.  Everyone should have friends like this.

Beyond all of this, I am the most thankful for my husband.  He inspires me everyday.  When I see myself through his eyes it makes me smile.  He is there for all the good times and he's still there when it's bad.  He knows me inside out and loves me anyway.  I am so thankful for that.  He is an amazing father to our children, and ladies, I don't have to tell you not all men will welcome children into their hearts that aren't their biological children, but my husband has done that and more with our babies.  He is a very special man.  :)

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

Menu Monday

Ok, Y'all know I'm on this organization kick thanks to Homeschooling at the Speed of Life: Balancing Home, School, and Family in the Real World with CDROM and One Year to an Organized Life: From Your Closets to Your Finances, the Week-by-Week Guide to Getting Completely Organized for Good...  So I'm going to purpose to Plan out my menus better.  I usually do some form of this, but some weeks I'm better at it than others, and it REALLY shows when I'm not on top of it!  So this will probably evolve into something more elaborate with recipes and stuff, but I'm starting small :)

It's summer, and I live in Texas, so the goal is to not heat the house up LOL

Menu:

Monday: BBQ Chicken, Couscous

Tuesday:  Eating out

Wednesday:  Tacos

Thursday:  Trying a new recipe because I'm hosting group at my house next week:  Ham and Potatoes

Friday:  The kids like to have Pizza on Fridays, so a lot of Fridays we do :)

Saturday:  Left Overs/ Snack Dinner

Sunday:  Chicken Fried Steak Strips, Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans

Supper Sunday- Taco Soup

I'm gonna try to give y'all a recipe each week from my "vast" collection LOL...  Here's one of my absolute favorite go to recipes:

Taco Soup

WW Points+ 4pts per serving, makes 8 servings (only for the soup, not the toppings)

Ingredients:

1 can  Black Beans

1 can Pinto Beans

3 cans of different varieties of diced tomatoes (I like to have one with fire roasted, 1 with peppers, and one with italian seasoning, but no matter what I have on hand it has always turned out good! )  :)

1 pound ground beef, browned

1 can corn or half a bag frozen corn

1/2 packet Ranch Dressing mix

1/2 packet Taco seasoning or seasonings of your choice. (I use my own blend of garlic salt, onion powder, and chili powder)

For Topping:

Tortilla Chips

Sour Cream

Shredded cheese

Instructions:

Brown ground beef with onions.  Place all ingredients (except toppings) in crock pot and mix up.  Cook on low 5-7 hours or high 4-5 hours.

When serving:

Place soup in bowl, cover with cheese, dollop sour cream and  crumpled tortilla chips.  YUM

 

Singing Saturday!!- No Matter What

I'd like to start a new feature on this blog.  So many songs have touched my life, so many have encouraged me, so many have gotten me through some tough times.  Music is definitely one of my passions.  I sing at Bible Study, and it is such a blessing to my soul.  I'd love to join the church choir, but that will have to be something that happens when the kids are older.  For now I'll sing on Thursdays and escape into my radio.  It's not uncommon at all to find me in the driveway with my radio blasting a Christian song and my hands held high!

So here's the first installment:  This song really speaks to anyone who is going through a tough time.  It's called "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts.

No Matter What

I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why,



No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.



When I’m stuck and there’s nothing else by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you will be my strength,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.



Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t, I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own, no matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You



No matter what I’m gonna love you, no matter what I’m gonna need you, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not , I’ll trust You, no matter what, no matter what. I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what no matter what no matter no matter what

Click the video before and listen!  I think you'll like it as much as I do :)

We survived!!!

Well we survived our vacation for 6!!!!  We traveled 3318 miles in 10 days and our car looked like it!!!! The kids had crazy fun.  While driving all over the place I read a couple of books about organizing.  Now that I have 4 kids living in this small house it is more important than ever to get this house under control.  We'll be starting school back up soon and I need to have us in a place where we can focus!  Auston will be starting high school, which is kind of scary to me, but I know he (we) can do it.  I'm also purposing to be more consistent in writing this blog, because, frankly, I need an outlet!  I hope you'll read on the days when it's boring LOL.

So the first book I started reading was called Homeschooling at the Speed of Life.

In it Marilyn Rockett talked a lot about balance and organization.  She really puts it in a perspective that made me think "I can do this!"  and let me tell you - I am NOT an organized person AT.ALL...  ;P  She talked about the realistic side of the idea of touch it once, and everything has a place and everything in it's place yada yada yada.  Included with the book is also a CD-Rom that had a whole bunch of forms for helpful use.  Reading this got me more in a mind set of a plan of action....  which brought me to the next book I began reading while on vacation:

In this book she actually takes a different task per month and breaks it down into week tasks to get your house under control in a year!  Now I'm well on my way.  This month is the address book, photos and stuff like that.  I'm trying to do the whole month's tasks even though it's the middle of the month already.  I'll let you know how it goes :)

Regardless of any of all of this I have a new found passion to try to get things under control here.  I have really realized that when the house is chaos I am really cranky, and that's not the kind of mom I want to be or the kind of wife I want to be.  I need to help my kids and husband to understand how to help me too, and I realize it will be a learning curve, but I'm gonna give it a whirl!  Wish me luck!  :)

I wish I could post really cool pictures from our vacation, but I have to refrain from any with the babies in it until they're adopted.  I can't WAIT for that to be done!!!!!

That's about it for tonight....  Talk to you soon :)

Vacation for 6 Please

Well, we're off on an adventure like no other.  Many people who know me know how unorganized i am.  It's just not my strong suit.  Never has been.  But going from 2 kids to 4 in just a few months has forced me to get with the program.  I still struggle, but probably not more than any other mom with 2 kids under 18 months and 2 boys entering the teen stages.  So yesterday i took on the daunting task of packing up 6 people.  And either God has really blessed me with some order in my life or we've forgotten something really important!  :)

Stick bug

Bubba and his friend

I Suck!

Sorry i suck so bad at blogging!  I recently got a new phone that is really fancy (the MyTouch 3G Slide) and i think i can post to my blog from it (i'm testing it out now, so if you're reading this it worked LOL) ;)  So i'm hoping to do better now.  Stay tuned!

2010.... A blank page..... What to write?

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Here we are... the last day of 2009... I've done my reflecting on all that has happened this year and now it is time to look forward and put forth some resolutions for 2010. I looked over my resolutions from last year and I think I accomplished about 50% of them... Not too bad, but not great either.... So, on to 2010!!!

Finances:

• No more than 10 NSF fees over the course of the year. I know I should have none, but there are times when I screw up and I want to have an attainable goal. :) FYI if anyone is confused on why this isn't that big of a deal to me is my bank will charge me if our our available balance goes below $500 whether or not all those items actually go through my bank or not. So it's not like I'm a bad check writer or anything! LOL... I'd like to have some extra funds in there so I don't have these hit my account at all!
• Emergency Fund set up
• Pay off at least 1 credit card. I'd really like to aim for at least 2 :)

Children:

• Be more patient with my kids. I know, sounds familiar, and it will be on my list next year too, but I just feel like there is always room for improvement where my kids are concerned, and I want the best for them :)
• Stay better on top of the boys schooling. Seriously considering TXVA next year, just thinking it would be better to have someone else for them to be accountable with my having 2 babies to chase :)
  
• Get Shea potty trained, or on the way anyway :)
• Play games more often with the kids, maybe reinstate family game night
• Go to summer camp with the boys
• Pray for my children more
  

Marriage:

• Get off the computer when my husband is home and just really enjoy him.
• Take my husband lunch as often as possible on Thursdays
• To not to look so much like a desperate housewife when the husband comes home :)
• Pray for my husband more

Friends and Family:

• Stay in touch better, and send out birthday cards!
• Do something unexpected for a friend at least 5 times this year
• Give back some of what was given to me in the form of meals, emotional support etc during our time of transition when Will came home :)

Health and Fitness:

• Do some form of exercise at least 2 times a week
• Get serious about the Diabetic diet
• Remember to take my meds

Home Management:

• Plan menus regularly and do less fend for yourself nights
• Stay on top of the cleaning Flylady style
• Do a deep clean out and give away a lot of stuff to make room in our house for all the people who live here LOL
• Redo the back deck
• Plant flowers in the gardens and stay on top of the lawns this year
• Have the Facia boards replaced
• Get a set of patio furniture so we can eat on the deck more often

Spirituality:

• Continue to stay on track with my Bible Study doing my homework daily
• Increase my prayer life through more time spent praying and more deep prayers
• Share my excitement with others when I see God doing extraordinary things around me

Well, that probably pretty much covers it! Here's to a great year! :)

2009 Recap

Well, it's that time of year again! 2009 is coming to a close at mock speed and we are getting ready for 2010 and all it will have in store for us..... So in order to know where we're going we must know where we've been :)

January:

The boys competed in Pinewood Derby for the pack and had a great time, but the most exciting thing to happen in January was a visit from Grumpa. We had a great time having him here. The boys trained him on the power of the Wii and he taught them some things too :)

February:

In February we participated in our last Blue and Gold Banquet with the pack. It was bitter sweet, knowing that by this time next year we would no longer be in the pack, having gone on to Boy Scouts with both boys now.

March:

In March for Spring Break we went camping with the Jones's at Lost Maples State Park. We had an absolutely wonderful time complete with a very long hike that wore poor Lady Bird completely out. We had Marshall (our Blue Heeler) with us too, but he was very old and we left him at the campsite. We knew while we were camping that this would be our last camping trip with him. We also took our Blue Bonnet pictures :)



April:



April began with a visit from our very good friends Angie, Raul, and Emma Cadena. They used to live here in town and go to church with us, but a couple of years ago they moved to New Foundland where Angie's family is. It was just like we had just seen each other last week, and a great time was had by us all :)

After very little rain all Spring we had a major rain storm at the end of April... Here's a picture of our lake er I mean street:


May:

In May Auston graduated from the Encourager Home School Enrichment program. We were so proud of him :) Gregory turned 10 and tried to convince us he was in fact a teenager instead! :) We keep telling him to slow down and not be in such a hurry! We also finally got our license for foster care and began waiting for a child.

June:



In June we went to Disney World with the Joneses again and had an absolutely wonderful time. We spent 4 days in Disney World and then 3 days at Vero Beach. Honestly I don't know which part we enjoyed more! We had been home for only a few days when we got a call requesting respite care for another foster family. We took the baby (who I'll call Chickadee) and we were very excited to have a baby around (even if just for the weekend) :)...... Or so we thought!!!

July:

In July we found out we would have the Chickadee as a foster child, not just respite because her other foster mom had some health stuff come up. We were thrilled! She was so much fun to have around and we had adapted surprisingly well to having a baby around! I (Semalee) also started taking cake decorating classes in July. :)

August:



In August we got ready for school to start back up and I made several cakes. Here is one of my favorite cakes I made. It also became more clear that Chickadee's future was not what we thought it was going to be, so we made it known that we would be honored to be her forever family. We had no idea what would happen, but figured it was worth a shot!

On a more sad note, our beloved dog Marshall passed away at the end of August. He was 15 1/2 years old. He was a wonderful dog and it really isn't the same without him.

September:

September took us back to school again and it was a little different this year. Auston being in the 7th grade is a big difference. We are still homeschooling and enjoying it. I began another year of teaching preschool at the Encourager Home School Enrichment program and Gregory is in the 5th grade there now. Auston is the assistant to the science teacher and he really enjoys that a lot!

October:

In October Auston turned 13!! GASP! I can't believe he is already a teenager! We celebrated this milestone by making a trip up to Austin and going to a place called Cypress Valley Canopy Tours and did a zip line tour. It was a LOT of fun! We also got official word that it was not CPS's intention to let the Chickadee stay with us, so we were preparing our hearts to let her go. One of Michael's good friends also got married in October and Michael was a groomsman so we were able to have some adult time while attending the rehearsal dinner and wedding... I think we clean up alright :)





I also donated my hair to an organization called Beautiful Lengths again as well. This is the second time I've done it, and I actually didn't get my hair mailed off right away, so by the time I actually got it mailed off I found out one of my pastors has stomach cancer. My hair is donated in honor of Reverend Janet, who is currently battling stomach cancer, my friend's daughter Marenna, who has battled Wilm's tumors twice now in her short life, and in honor of my neighbor JoAnn Horace who passed away this year of brain cancer.




November:

November was an exciting month for us. We went to court on the Chickadee and after we left we were told that they were transferring her case to the adoptive worker who would prepare her to leave our home. 4 days later we got a call from the case worker saying she had prayed about the situation and had CHANGED HER MIND!! She was now changing her recommendation to have the Chickadee stay with us and have us be her forever family! In addition to this great news we were told that her younger brother was born (early) and asked if we would consider taking him. Well, we just couldn't see how we could not give her the opportunity to have a biological sibling, so we decided it was the right thing to do. We were scared to death about having a 10 month old and a newborn at the same time, but felt good about our decision. Also in November we had our 5th Annual Bilbrey Family Picnic and had a great time with all of our friends and family :)

December:

December is very much a blur... having two infants is hard work! On December 9th "Sir Grunt a Lot" came to live with us. He was 3 weeks old when we brought him home directly from the NICU and just over 5 pounds. He was so tiny, but grew so fast! It has been exhausting, but an amazing experience to have him in our home. We are so in love with him already :) We went to Midland to spend Christmas with Michael's brother and his family. It was interesting to say the least to travel with 2 babies, but it went very well and wasn't nearly as bad as we thought it would be :)

That about wraps up 2009... It's been a wild ride, but we wouldn't change any of it! Here's to 2010 being even better! :)

Random Arrow

In the Bible in 1Kings there is a story about King Ahab. In the story Ahab is just screwing up all over the place and not doing what is good in the eyes of the LORD. Well, he is about to go into battle. He asks King Jehoshaphat to go into battle with him. Jehoshaphat agrees, but only if they consult a prophet of the LORD. So King Ahab has all of his prophets tell him they will win the battle. Jehoshaphat doesn't buy it, and asks if there is a prophet of Yaweh available. Ahab says there is one, but he never says anything good about Ahab, so he doesn't listen to him. Well, this prophet says that Ahab will die in the battle.

They decide to go into battle anyway, and Ahab convinces Jehoshaphat that he should wear his royal robes and ride in the chariot and Ahab will go in disguise. The fighting begins and they begin to attach Jehoshaphat. Jehoshaphat cries out and immediately the soldiers know it isn't Ahab and go away from him.

Then a random arrow flies through the air and hits Ahab between his armor plates. He bleeds to death.

Why am I telling you this? Well, as I read this account and then did my bible study homework I was preparing for the Guardian Ad Litem's assistant to come and meet the chickadee and talk to me about her case. I had a lot on my shoulders, knowing that this could be a turning point in our case to keep our baby. As I went through my bible study the question was asked, "What did you learn about God's sovereignty in this story?"..... And it hit me! God's will is God's will. No Man can stop it. When man tries to get in the way of God's will a random arrow flies through the air and hits someone between the armor plates.

Since the chick stepped into our house we have prayed God's will over her. We have prayed God's will even when it looked like that meant she was going to Dallas, we have prayed God's will NO MATTER WHAT.

In November we had a court date and the parental rights were terminated and they are transitioning her to adoption. After the court date I asked the CPS worker who's side she is on. And she said she thinks she should go to Dallas, so that was where she would probably be going. It wasn't over by any means, but pretty bleak looking.

But God.

FOUR days later the worker called me. There was a random arrow. A baby born. And she prayed about what was best for the chick and she CHANGED her mind! She said she had it approved for her to move into adoptive placement with US!

Another foster mom said to me one time "You never understand what it means to walk completely dependent on God until you do it. Then you learn. You think you know what it means to depend on God and all that, but you don't. Not until you do it." And she was right.

Through this whole saga it has been a lot of ups and downs and twists and turns and we are soooo not through yet. But through it all we have walked it with God. We've been in constant prayer. We've seen Him work in our lives and it has been a blessing beyond anything we've experienced. I knew as I sat in that court room that if I had to give my daughter up I could do it because she had been completely covered in Prayer and I had faith in that. But I never stopped praying. And I'm still praying. Praying and praising.

When you think you have no where to turn, no one to run to
When you think you've done all you can
When you think there's no hope at all.....

Just remember

But God.

For I am With You

So, it has become clear this week with the sibling visit and all that our chances of keeping the chickadee are becoming less and less. So we are faced with dealing with that possiblity and learning to rely on God through it all. We didn't come into foster with the intention of adopting, but came with the attitude that this is what God has told us to do, and whatever the outcome we trust God. Easy to say. And easy to do in some ways. Today on my way to church I was having a very emotional day. My pastor and friend is going to another church (loss) and I don't know how long we'll have Shea (more loss)... I wasn't having a sad day, just emotional. I cried on the way to church. I cried because I miss my mom. I wish I could go to her through this time. I cried because I don't know how I'm going to stand on two feet while I give my baby to someone else. I just don't know.
But God.
But God.
"Come to me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest"
"I know the plans I have for you...."
"yea thought I walk through the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me Lord"
But God.

First, Thursday in Bible study (as I had to go without Shea while she was on a visit that meant more than I wanted it to) the devotion was all about trusting God in the face of loss. Of loss! Can you believe that??

Then today after church a lady came up to me and introduced herself. She's new to our church and a Daughter of the King (I'm the president of our chapter), so I wasn't surprised. And with her came her husband and their African American little girl (they're white)... She asked if we were fostering Shea and I told her yes, and she asked if we were planning on adopting her and I said we wanted to, but it's not looking good for us right now. And her husband (who I had never met before today) wrapped his arms around me and said some of the kindest words, he said, "We will hold you up as you walk this road"... Just before church I had been talking with another Daughter about her sister and the fact that she has Alzheimer's and she was sharing with me how much it meant to her to have me to talk to because if you haven't walked the road you just don't understand. I agreed. Well, as it turns out Donna and Nick were foster parents for many years and eventually adopted their daughter (after a 5 year long battle)..... So they've walked the road. They've walked the road of giving her up too- she went back to her mom for a year and a half....

It's like every time I start to think, I don't know God, this is too hard... He sends me a sign or someone... It's like He's saying to me, just be obedient and I will take care of you...

It's not easy. And it won't be. And we have a rough road ahead of us, but we will fear no evil because God is with us.