Lord Give me your Heart

You all know we've been on this journey to do foster care. It is a journey that was brought upon by the Lord and one that we are completely following His lead on. It has had it's ups and downs already, but it has been a truly amazing experience to see the Lord work.

We have a baby in our home now. One that has not actually been placed with us- but we are providing respite for another family. She is a precious sweet angel. She has been such a joy to have in our home and has already showed us so much about God's amazing healing power. I had no idea we could learn so much from someone so little in such a short period of time!

Today she was kind of fussy because she is teething. You would think it would irritate me that she wanted to be held or watching Baby Einstein and then held again, but it didn't. It just felt like a privilege. As she was about to go to bed I was holding her and had just finished giving her a bottle. I was talking to her and she was smiling back at me and we were dancing to the radio. The song give me your eyes came on and there is a line in there that never jumped out at me before, but boy did it tonight. It is where it says, "Give me your heart for the ones forgotten" Suddenly I was overcome and realized that this precious baby that I'm holding is one of those. Then I began to cry just thinking that she could be forgotten. I really felt what God was trying to tell me right then and realized what he is doing. He's giving us His heart.

Lyrics to Give Me Your Eyes :
Look down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight

Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what’s underneath

There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work, He's buying time

Pre Chorus / Chorus

I’ve been here a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
I need a second glance
Give me a second chance
To see the way you’ve seen the people all along

Chorus

Why I love Summer in Houston

It's summer time and I was thinking the other day about how much I really love summer... Here are my top 10 :)

10. Barbecues! YUM
9. Rain... Weird, huh? But I really like that the rain that falls out of the sky here is WARM!!!
8. Vacation!!! This year- DISNEY WORLD!!!
7. NO SCHOOL!!! I love having a more relaxed schedule and getting to spend more time just having fun with my kids!
6. The smell of fresh cut grass... and even cutting the grass is one of my favorites!
5. Free Movies! AMC, Marquee are free and Cinemark is only a buck.... We try to see at least one a week :)
4. Sprinklers! Even I will run through the sprinklers!
3. Sun Tans! (I know... it's bad for you, but I love it!)
2. Swimming Pools (especially the one in my back yard)

And you're really going to think I'm strange... but my number one thing....

1. Water that is the temperature of bath water coming out of the cold water tap!!!

There you have it! What are your favorite things about summer?

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. I wonder how many people actually sit and ponder what Memorial Day is about. Do you think about the men and women who are not home for the BBQ this year? Or the men and women who will never be home for the BBQ? Do you get drunk and forget all your sorrows? Do you raise a glass to the past?

The men and women of our armed forces give up so much more than the average civilian realizes. They give up time. They give up memories. They give up their bodies. Whether that person comes home or not, whether they serve at home or abroad, they give. Willingly. With little obvious reward. For you. For me. For those who support them, and for those who don't.

It's been said that we are killers in Iraq. I don't care how you feel about the war, whether you believe we should be in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or nowhere at all, when comments like this are made YOU are the killer. You are the killer of the spirit of the men and women who serve for YOU. You may not agree with where they are, but understand this. They are fighting to protect YOU. And they deserve your honor and respect.

I'll tell you something else. Today is about the military and it should be, but let us not forget the men and women of the law enforcement world who are also fighting the good fight here on the home front day after day. It was police officers and firemen who ran into the twin towers. It is police officers who deal with the scum in our country and who keep a close eye at home for those who want to harm us here.

When you've served you understand. If you haven't served, you don't.

When you have loved ones who have served you understand.

When you lose someone, you understand..... and you don't.

God Bless the USA.

Thank you God for
Ben Gillespie (US Army)
Barry Hill (Police Officer)
Jason Norling (Police Officer)
And all the others

who gave their lives protecting the people they would never meet.

Not as I expected

Well yesterday I went to pick up all of the baby furniture from my friend and she gave me so much stuff!!! What a huge blessing!!! It's going to be so great to be able to tell the foster lady we have all of that already and for her to be able to put that in our homestudy :)

But it wasn't all good. My dad is not thrilled with our decision. Apparently.... As we were tying stuff down he said to me, "Do you ever get the feeling you are the only one excited about this?" And I said no.... why? Should I?, has Michael said something to you? And he said no, but then he said I'm going to have to let something go because we are already too scheduled. Which is true, but that is now starting to get better now that Michael is on days and can help take the kids to their evening activities. I am also in the process of training my understudy to take over the awards for the pack, so that will be quite a bit off my plate... Anyway, he was just so RRRRR... His tooth hurts, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with his mood, but it made me second guess myself a little and I was a little sad.

In the end I know he doesn't like change, and that is probably a lot of it, and he is probably very worried about me, but it just took some of the wind out of my sails, ya know?

So I was talking to another friend who is finalizing one of her adoptions tomorrow and she told me she got some of that from her family at first, but they are all thrilled now, so not to worry. Come to think of it we got a lot of that when we were pregnant with Gregory too.... I'm not going to let it bother me!!! :)

So I have a ton of stuff this week for this: I have to get the A/C inspection scheduled and the plumbing inspection scheduled. The boys are getting their TB Tests on Monday and Michael and I are getting ours on Wednesday. Michael and I are doing CPR on Monday evening. And we have to finish everything else up and get our house ready for the homestudy which is a week from Monday!!!! Here we go, we're up for quite a ride!

Hurry Up and Wait!

So we're on this foster journey, right. You have read the stories and know that this is definitely God's Plan for us. I know that. You know when you know that you know that you know??? Well, I do. However, I am still starting to freak out a bit! We had our interviews on Monday and it went well, and we got our homestudy scheduled for the 9th. While interviewing our caseworker was trying to get a feel for the types of children we would accept and showing us children that she thought would fit well into our family. There was a sibling group with a little girl and a little boy that were just sooooo precious. I swear if we were approved I would have jumped at them. But the reality of this is really happening and we could potentially have another child or *gasp* children in our home within the next month or two is..... well...... overwhelming. I guess in a way I've had almost 9 months to prepare, but it's different than being pregnant, ya know? LOL!! I am having some twinges of sadness for the way our family is right now because it is all about to change in a big way. Our family is so peaceful (most of the time) and change is scary. But, I also know that I know that I know that this is God's plan and I also know that I know that I know that when we let Him be in charge we are NEVER sorry. So, it's a huge lesson in trust. I think that is the big thing He is working on with me right now. I like to be in control and it's hard for me to let go...... Especially about something this big!!!!

So, we have a million and a half things to do by next Monday and no money to do them with, so please pray for us!

Oh and I have to tell yet another cool God story.... As we were driving home from our interviews I was going over my list in my head.... things we have to buy, do etc .... Well, one thing on the list was baby bed of some sort, other furniture and misc items.... Well, when I got home there was an email in my inbox from another of God's angels saying that she is getting rid of all of her baby furniture and wants to DONATE it to us!!!! How cool is that???? This is going to be an adventure- and I'm so glad for the people who are chosing to take it with us in one way or another!

Another Letter

Well, I got another letter from my mother. This one wasn't mean, which is an improvement, but it wasn't nice either. You know, sometimes I think I shouldn't even open anything from her. But I just have this hope that she will come around eventually. This one told me that she thought about me all day on my birthday and wondered if she would call, but just didn't. She hasn't even read the letter I sent her. She says she's afraid of it. Whatever. Then she went on to tell ME to not let anger and my ego rule my life. How would she know what is ruling my life when she won't talk to me and won't read my letters? It is truly mind blowing. The bad part is, just as I start to be able to move towards forgiveness she says or does something to hurt me again. I'm trying to forgive all of the junk. I really am. I'm trying to make sense of it all. I'm trying to find my part in it so I can apologize. I just can't. I have all the letters she has sent me over the last few years in my hope chest and it really amazes me how cruel she has been, yet somehow I feel like it is my fault, or that there is something I could do differently. It makes me want to scream. So, I think what my friend said is the right thing to do. If she corresponds with me again I need to let someone else open it and decide if I should read it. If it's not nice they should just put it away for me and I shouldn't read it. It's the only way I'm going to be able to move through the forgiveness stages. I'd rather forgive and be naive then continue on this painful path. I've also decided that really if anyone deserves an apology it is me. So I will just wait. I will not contact her for any reason from this point forward (not that I have contacted her since I was blacklisted at the hospital) until it is clear to me that she is in a different state of mind. Not because I am angry, but because I really understand that all we do is hurt each other and I want to stop the cycle. When she's ready to stop the cycle then we'll be able to move forward, and that hasn't happened yet.

New Year's Eve

Thought I'd post some pictures of our New Year's Eve Celebration. We did something new this year, that I think we will make a tradition. We made "Wish Logs". What is this? Well, we took empty toilet paper rolls and strips of paper. We wrote our wishes for 2009 on the strips of paper and stuffed them in the toilet paper "logs". Then we sealed the ends with candle wax and decorated the outside with some more wax. When we were all done with our logs we put them in the fireplace and built a fire with them. It was really a lot of fun. You can see pictures of our logs on the slideshow :)

Also, FYI- so far I'm doing good posting on Pictures of Jello! Check it out :)

2009 Here we come!!

Ok, a few days ago I posted a recap of 2008, and I think that will be something I try to do every year. It was great to "relive" the year!!

A friend of mine suggested that she is doing several categories of "Goals" instead of resolutions this year. I liked that idea, so I am working on my goals too. One of my goals is to keep up with my new blog: "Pictures of Jello: A Picture a Day for 2009" Be sure to check that out! Here's what I've got so far:

Goals for Grego:

Keep his room clean

Be more independent

Master multiplication and division

Begin Acolyting

Finish all cub scout pins

Give him an allowance

Goals for Auston:

Get him through Pre Alg and 1st of Algebra I

Help him learn to organize his room

Get him to use his agenda to organize his life

Teach him to mow the lawn

Have him do his own laundry

Give him an allowance

Help him learn to stay on task with school work

Get him to the rank of Star in Boy Scouts

Earn 10 merit badges over the course of the year

Teach him to keep his room clean and organized

General Goals:

Go the entire year with NO Overdraft Charges

Build and maintain at least $1000 in savings

Pay off 2 credit cards

Get a second car

Get licensed for foster care

Adopt an entire family for Christmas

De- Clutter- fly lady style

Personal Goals:

Keep my nails painted

Lose 50 pounds

Wear makeup

Wear perfume

Get dressed every day

Do something special for my husband at least once a month

Do something special for each child at least once a month

Read 5 books

See 5 "chick flicks"

Keep one day a week with nothing on the schedule

More "Me Stuff"

Keep up with Pictures of Jello Blog

Blog more in general

2008- a Recap

Well, 2008 is coming to a close very shortly. As I begin to get my New Year's Resolutions I thought it would be a good idea to recap 2008 first. We don't know where we're headed without first knowing where we've been, right? So, here are my memories of 2008:

In January Auston received his Arrow of Light award, the highest award in Cub Scouting. He was also a Super Scouter, which means he achieved every pin there was. So ended his Cub Scout adventure and began his Boy Scout adventure. He chose the troop chartered by our church for his Boy Scout troop. Troop 1102 is a small troop, which kind of concerned me at first, but in the end, I'm glad he chose that troop. We also had the Pinewood Derby race with the pack, and we all got in on the game this year and made cars. Michael made a police car and I made a Pink VW Bug covered with Flowers, and "Make Love, not War". It was my "Flower Power" Car. :)

February was Blue and Gold, and Gregory received his Bear Rank. Now we only have Webelos to go before he is in Boy Scouts too! We also attended the Ten Commandments Hike in Houston. This is a 5.5 mile hike through 10 different churches, most historical buildings. Each church told us about one commandment and a little about their faith and their church building. It was a wonderful experience, and we plan to do it again. We also began hosting a home group for our church at our home.

In March we camped at Caddo Lake State Park with the Joneses and Michael's dad and Pattie. We figured what would be better for a Jones- Bilbrey vacation then to find Sasquatch? LOL!! Well, we thought we might have spotted him, but then we realized it was just Gregory.



In April we went to Michael's mom's for Easter, as always and had a great time, filled with the annual Easter Egg hunt over her property where there are so many eggs the kids need help carrying their Easter Baskets when their done! The Easter Egg Hunt is one of my favorite things we do!





May was a bad month for us. Michael was involved in a car accident on the 17th the day before Grego turned 9. He was turning into the park where we were camping with the Cub Scouts for Graduation and was hit from behind. Our Dodge Intrepid was totalled, which made me sad because that was the first Mother's Day gift Michael had ever given me. But, I was just glad he was ok. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance and had a back injury. He was released that night with lots of drugs. Memorial Day weekend the boys and I went to Garner State Park with the Boy Scout troop. I hated to leave Michael, but I think he was glad to not having me hovering for a change!


June was spent taking Michael back and forth to doctors. We were supposed to be in the Ozarks with the Joneses for vacation, but that was cancelled because of the accident. Michael finally went back to work near the end of the month. Alicia finally came home from Turnabout, the treatment facility she had been in in Utah for 3 years. It was a joyous time mixed with turmoil when Dale told Terrie he wanted a divorce 2 days before Alicia was to come home.

In July Auston and I went to Boy Scout Camp at Camp Hale, Oklahoma. We spent a week in tents in record heat. If he ever says I wasn't a good mom, I'm kicking his butt!!! It was a lot of fun, though, and I learned a lot about him. He is growing up so fast. Worst part: we came home to a broken A/C unit and endured another week of heat!!!!



Just as our A/C got fixed it was time to go off to camp again! This time with Gregory at Bovay Scout Ranch, near Navasota, TX. We spent 2 days in extreme heat before our trip was cut short by Tropical Storm Edouard. Never a dull moment on the Gulf Coast in the Summer! The storm wasn't that bad, but not a good idea to sleep in a tent :). We did manage to carve in another camping trip with the Joneses to Buescher State Park in August. It wasn't the same as going to the Ozarks for a week, but still nice to be able to hang out with them! The end of August my mother became very ill and was hospitalized in the ICU for almost a week with pneumonia. I was not allowed to talk to her at all, which was incredibly hurtful, but even worse was when she told the nurses not to give any information to me either. A few weeks later I got a letter from her telling me I was a terrible person and she won't speak to me again until I apologize to her and Todd for my actions over the last few years. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to apologize for, so we're not talking.

September was a busy busy month!!! We went back to school, Auston joined EYC, the youth group for our church, and then Hurricane Ike hit the Houston area. It was a category 3 storm but only barely (it was almost a category 4), and the storm surge just about wiped parts of Galveston away. My friend Terri and her son Michael stayed with the boys and I during the storm. Michael, of course, was working. Ah the joys of being a police officer's wife...... A little over a week later my dad and Trin moved to Houston- next door! :)



In October Auston turned 12 with a party at the Texas Rock Gym. Fun was had by all. Michael and I began training for foster care and are still in the process of doing all of the things needed to be licensed for that. It is a calling from God, one that we just have to trust Him on. There are days when I'm really excited, and others when I'm terrified. But we know that when we are obedient to God we receive blessings beyond our wildest beliefs and that He will equip us for whatever He calls us for. So, we trust. For Halloween Michelle and Tahj came to trick or treat with us and we went to the Seymours neighborhood for the goodies. The financial market was in a mess and you could even see it on Halloween with not as many houses lit up for Halloween and giving out candy.



In November Michelle's baby, Zeny was born on the 21st. Michelle and Oshie allowed me to be there for the birth which was an incredible experience, one I will never forget. She is a beautiful baby. We had Tahj stay with us while Mom and baby recovered and then we all got the flu. We didn't want to send Tahj home until he had it and got over it. 5 days later we had all dropped like flies around him and he was the only one left standing. He had the flu shot this year. Guess what I'm getting next year! Thanksgiving was hosted here at our house with lots of food and excitement. It was the first time I've had most my family together in years. We had Terrie and the kids, my Dad and Trin, and Michelle, Oshie, Tahj, and Zeny here. The evening was cut a little short with Zeny choked on some spit up and couldn't get breathing again real good, so an ambulance was called. She was checked out and seemed fine, but everyone had pretty much had their fun for the day by that time.

December was filled with many Christmas preparations. It's the first year in many years that I've been in the mood for Christmas. I'm finally coming out of my funk. It's a slow process, but it is coming. It's strange, I haven't really talked to my mother for over a year now, and somehow it's easier. At least there aren't new wounds. We made gingerbread houses again, for the 3rd year in a row. They turned out great, and I even made one this year. As our year comes to a close, we look forward to a better year in 2009. We're looking forward to another trip to Walt Disney World with the Jones and Auston plans to go on a Mission Trip. Gregory will begin Acolyting and our Church will be moving to the new building. Stay tuned!

God is SO good!

I just have to share this! I was praying today at school for God to show me the way again- the money thing is stressing me out with the things we have left on the foster stuff. Well, I had gotten a quote from a plumber at $125 to inspect our gas and I was freaking a little about that... Guess what?! I got an email from him today that said if we are financially distressed he could give us a better rate!!! Talk about a direct answer to prayer! God is SO good! So, we're on track for our home study in January and I have a list of things to finish up by then... :)

As I was praying today, I just wanted to confess to y'all, I was telling God how at times I'm just really excited, and I know He has already annointed a child for us and that is very exciting too. But at other times I'm very overwhelmed. I get selfish thinking of how easy things are now- I can tell the kids to fix their own lunch, I can leave them home for an hour or two... Do I really want to start over again??? But, I know this is God's plan for us- it certainly wasn't my idea! And every time I start to have doubts and pray about it God gives me a very clear answer that this is what He wants me to do. So, I'm sure. And I know that He will equip us to do whatever He calls us to do (just like homeschooling LOL), but I just wanted to confess my fears to y'all since you have all been so supportive.

Answered Prayers

I want to tell you a story. It's a love story between God and us. Do you believe that He is always watching, loving, and answering our prayers? I believe that He is always there, and often speaking to us, but we're so busy with our every day life to notice.

Well, we have been going through the motions towards being licensed for foster care, all the while doing it with the understanding that we want to be sure we are in God's will. This was not our idea, that's for sure! But still, we continued on asking for a lot of prayer regarding the situation, and asking for a clear message.

The other night I was at the church for Intercessory Prayer. We have it every Wednesday night, and it is an hour long, basically the church is open for people to come pray. The Daughters of the King sign up to make sure we have at least one daughter there every week. This particular week was mine. So, I started out praying for the church, the clergy, the building, the ministries, etc... Then I started in on mine. I started praying asking for God to give me a clear sign that foster care was what He wanted. I also asked how we were going to afford all of the details required to get licensed. I asked if this was a sign from him (the huge expense I mean) that this was not what He wanted us to do after all.

Well, if you know me, you know that sitting quietly is not my thing LOL :) So, I sat there for a moment, and then thought, well, I'll start praying out of the prayer book. I opened it up, and it opened up to the "Prayer for Thanksgiving of an Adopted Child"!!

O God, you have taught us through your blessed Son that whoever receives a little child in the name of Christ receives Christ himself: We give you thanks for the blessing that you have bestowed upon this family in giving them a child. Confirm their joy by a lively sense of your presence with them, and give them calm strength and patient wisdom as they seek to bring this child to love all that is true and noble, just and pure, lovable and gracious, excellent and admirable, following the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen

Well, no more questions, only trust remain. So, here we go- full speed ahead! :)

October 20, 2008

I know, I've been bad about the 2008 in pictures, I probably won't get one up every day, but I just HAD to share this one... It's Greg in the hay :)

Jesus Loves the Little Children

 

 

We\'ve been in the process of considering foster care lately.  It\'s really kind of come along gradually.  First some history behind this whole idea: 

I\'ve wanted more children since our niece was killed in a car accident in 2000.  Her loss left an empty space in my heart that just can\'t be filled.  You never get over burying a child.  EVER.  Her death had the opposite effect on Michael, he didn\'t want any more children because the more you have the more chance something bad will happen to them...  I understand, but still, it left me feeling like I was missing something.

So, I teach young children.  I taught young 2s for 5 years, then 3s for a year and now I teach preschool.  But still....

Last year my cousin\'s children were taken away from her because she was doing drugs again, a decision that infuriated me, since a year prior to that her children\'s father died of a drug overdose.  Even without that I find it disgusting.  My Aunt took the kids and is caring for them while my cousin is in treatment.  I was in Utah and visited with them all and the Lord just really showed me something.  These precious babies didn\'t ask for this.  They don\'t deserve this.  What they deserve is to be loved for the blessings that they are.  That got me to thinking.  Here I am with this empty hole where there is all this love that just needs somewhere to go.

So, I started talking to Michael about and we started talking to friends about it.  We\'ve been in prayer about it and I feel this is where the Lord is leading us, but I want to be sure that it isn\'t me that\'s leading us in this direction.  In addition to what has been going on in my own family I have a very dear online friend who began doing foster care several months ago, and I\'ve had the privilege of watching that process, the ups and downs in her life.  So, I feel like I have kind of an idea of what I\'m getting into.

Well, in August we went to the informational meeting and I really didn\'t know what Michael was going to say after it.  I kind of knew most of what they told us, but Michael didn\'t.  Well, afterwards he felt pretty good about it and even said if we got a child that was high risk (parents rights likely to be severed) that we could consider adoption!

I\'m thrilled at the idea that we could have little ones in our house again soon!  We begin training on Friday, and as that approaches it becomes more real.  Part of me (the selfish part) wonders if I really WANT little ones again- do I miss changing diapers?  NO!  But then I really think about it and yes, it\'s worth it!

So, I\'m excited, but also nervous.  Can I give them back?  That\'s going to be the truly difficult part.  That\'s the part that calls on my faith.  That\'s the part that will grow my faith, and that is almost always painful!

What ever the Lord calls you to do He will equip you to do.

Time for good-bye

Time for Good-Bye
Current mood: depressed

Well, those of you who know me know that I have fought this for years. But the time has come to say good-bye to my mother. My body physically hurts and I go through this. I feel like I could literally crawl out of my skin. I feel pain, but I feel numb. I feel nothing, but I feel sad. I have never felt like this before. Maybe I'm really losing it. I'm trying to pull myself out of it for my kids, but I can't. I just sit and stare.

My mom was rushed by ambulance on Tuesday to LDS hospital and has been in ICU since. My sisters and I were not told until last night (Friday) that she was there. I was pretty pissed about that and hurt, but that was nothing compared to what happened next. I tried to call my mom to tell her I love her and I'm praying for her etc. Todd answered the phone and I asked to talk to my mom. He said, "Who's this?". I said Semalee, he said, "That isn't going to happen". I said, "Ok, is she ok?" He said, "Yeah, she's fine." I said, "OK, is she asleep?", and he said, "NOPE!" and HUNG UP ON ME.

I called my little sister who lives in town and she went to see my mom. She tried to tell my mom that I just wanted to tell her I love her and that I wasn't mad at her and my mom didn't believe her and told her she doesn't want to talk to me.

This is by far the most pain I have ever been in. I feel like I am going to throw up any minute. I had the shakes for 45 minutes last night, and still have a little of them now, though it isn't as bad.

I've written my mother a letter and will either have someone take it to her when she is in a regular room or I will mail it to her. I haven't decided which yet. Here it is:

Dear Mom:

I tried to call to tell you this in person, but since that is not a possibility I decided to write you a letter. I'm hoping that you will read this letter and know that the entire thing is written in love. I write this letter not because I am angry, but because I don't want there to ever be another harsh word between us again. EVER.

I don't know why you are upset with me now, and I can't know if you won't talk to me. But what I do know is that you are my mom, the woman who gave me life, the woman who was there when no one else was. For a time it was just you and I, mom and I still listen to Hellen Reddy's "You and Me Against the World" and have sung it to both of my boys. The time has come for us to say good-bye. I can not put into words how painful this is, but I refuse to fight with you any more. I live in fear every day that something will happen to you and you will pass on without this being resolved between us, possibly not knowing how much I love you. That is more than I can take. So, I want to take a moment now to tell you that I love you so much. You were a wonderful mother to me growing up and you taught me how to be a strong, independent woman. You are a good majority of the reason for who I am today. You were there for me whenever I needed you and you believed in me. I will never be able to express to you how much it meant to me that you got me moved to Kamas for school. I was a rough teenager, but I always loved you. I'm sorry for all of the things I said and did as a teenager. Beyond that, I am sorry for everything that has happened since as well. It has been such an unbelievably painful road for us both. There was a time when we believed in each other even though we didn't see eye to eye. I want you to know I still believe in you. I know your heart, and it is pure. You are a person who loves deeply, and the people around you are better because they know you. I want you to take with you that I am so proud that you were my mother and I would have had it no other way, even now. I will take the good memories with me too, and leave the bad here in the road to be forgotten. I will always love you and will always think of you and you will always be in my prayers. I physically hurt because I have to say goodbye, but I do it because I love you mom, and I wish nothing but happiness for you.

Good Bye.

Sem

February 11, 2008

This right here: The LAZIEST DOG EVER!!

She's so lazy when she is sleeping her tongue hangs out! I woke her up with the camera and she was too lazy to bring her tongue back in her mouth!

February 10, 2008

Fait

That's my cat Fait. I've had her longer than Michael. She and I have been through a lot together.

February 9, 2008

Historic Churches

Today we went on the "10 Commandments Hike" with the Boy Scouts. It was a 5.5 mile hike through Downtown Houston and we went to 10 different historical churches. This was one of my favorites, St. Paul's United Methodist Church. It was an absolutely stunning church.

February 8, 2008

Poor Marshall!

Poor Marshall got a bath today, he doesn't look very happy about it, does he?

February 7, 2008

Flower Pictures:

My Dad in Colorado got me started on this. I love taking really up close pictures of flowers. They are so beautiful, and we often walk right past without even noticing!

February 6, 2008

It's Blue!

I'm getting it ready, the water if finally a shade of blue, instead of green. Now we just have to get the cloudiness out and wait for it to warm up *just a little more* and we can get in! I can't wait! I'm ready!